Sunday, 26 February 2017

The weekend.

Thursday 23rd February - Storm Doris arrived today! No nothing to do with the cancer but everything to do with the weather!!! Today has been a pretty 'usual' day for me - work was good - and I am pleased to say everything is up to date. Most people though have been affected by the high winds causing road closures and general mayhem for traffic! Glad that I can say that 'Doris' really didn't cause me any bother - even when I decided to chop up the Christmas tree that had only just started to turn brown in the garden - I had been reluctant to bin it when it was looking so lovely on the patio! Enjoyed a restful evening!
Friday 24th February - Usual day off today. I can tell this is my 'good' week before the next dose of chemo on Tuesday 28th February because apart from the usual tired feeling I am absolutely fine! Sam not up to much so studying at home today. Took my sister for her hospital appointment first thing and then dropped her off in town before my mother arrived to go shopping with me. She has kindly knitted me four woolly hats ready for our holiday on the boat in April! They will never blow away, however windy it may get - once on my head they are stuck fast - just like Velcro and have to be peeled off - just like my jumper!!! Did a small amount of housework and then enjoyed another restful evening with Reno and Sam, its great to have Reno home for two nights this weekend instead of one which often happens - however, he does have to return to work on Sunday at 1.30p.m.!
Saturday 25th February - Had a really great day today! Started off shopping ready for a meal I am cooking later today for our friends who it feels like we haven't seen for ages! It so lovely to be able to do 'normal things' like having friends over for dinner and of course having the energy to prepare and cook the meal myself instead of Reno, Sam or my sisters waiting on me! Once everything was prepared and ready I decided to have a bit of a pamper before they came! Thought the shock of seeing me with no hair would be a bit of a shock for them but no - they simply took it in their stride and said having no hair didn't change anything I was still Carol! We all enjoyed the meal (thankfully it really did turn out rather well!) and spent the rest of the evening chatting over a glass or two of wine - great!
Sunday 26th February - I am sure the wine played it's part........ but I had a great nights sleep last night! Quite obvious this morning that my eyebrows are fast disappearing too - not bothered by this at all, in fact having eyebrows but no hair on my head, I think did look a little strange!!!Went into town this morning to accompany Sam whilst she spent some of her birthday money! Returned home to have lunch before Reno had to leave at 1.30p.m. Now starting to get impatient for Tuesday 28th to get here so I can have the third dose of chemo - almost half way through my treatment! Also looking forward to Thursday 2nd March when I will have an ultra sound scan of my breast followed by an appointment with my oncologist to see if the tumour has shrunk. This could be an exciting week but trying hard not to get too excited in case there is no change. Spending the afternoon pottering about catching up with a few things before finally lazing on the sofa to catch up on some t.v. ! Mustn't forget to go to hospital for blood test in the morning!

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Aches & Pains!

Monday 20th February - Quite an uneventful day at work - time passed quickly as I was quite busy, and being busy kept my mind off my quite painful elbow and knee joints (a symptom of the treatment), it was nothing that I couldn't bear but just a nuisance!
Visited by my sister this evening - it was nice to sit and chat and have a giggle together.
Tuesday 21st February - In to work again today but everything is a struggle! I feel like an old lady of 100 years! Woke at 1 a.m. this morning and haven't slept since! My elbow and knee joints don't just ache they really hurt and I feel like I need a zimmer frame to help me along! Hopefully this will pass and if I am honest it probably doesn't help that I am so tired! Thought I may have a nap when I got home from work but that didn't really work out either! Hopefully I will sleep well tonight and feel much better in the morning! I keep thinking "keep going girl - there's nothing going on that you can't handle!!!"
Wednesday 22nd February - Unfortunately another rough night - woke at 3.15a.m. tried going back to sleep to no avail! Decided to lay and just rest until my 6.00a.m. alarm, then when that went off I decided to stay put until my 6.10a.m.alarm!!! When that went off............. I fell asleep - would you believe it?!? Fortunately Sam's alarm goes off at 6.25 a.m. otherwise we would have been late for school and work!!! There has been a plus side to today - elbow and knee joints still a bit of a nuisance but not as painful as yesterday! No zimmer frame required and only feel 75 today instead of 100!!! It's all good!!! Going out this evening for a short while to visit my sister for her birthday. Then I think an attempt at an early night would be a wise move!

Sunday, 19 February 2017

The past week - including the velcro experience!

Tuesday 14th February - Had a lovely surprise today! Reno phoned first thing this morning to say that I should look in the wardrobe for a parcel! So I looked and there it was - a lovely Valentines day card and a beautiful box of chocolates! That just gave me a great boost for the day! Went to work as usual but looking forward to Sam and I going away for a couple of days Thursday & Friday!
Wednesday 15th February - A really funny thing happened today!- Went to work as usual, and as it was a bit chilly I wore a polo neck Jumper. When I got home I changed so that Sam and I could pack a couple of bags for our short break away - however as I took the polo neck jumper over my head I had to call for Sam because something got stuck!?! I started to call for Sam to help me and she came into the room and laughed when she saw my predicament - the polo neck was stretched over my head and stuck - just like Velcro!! We laughed and laughed as Sam carefully peeled the jumper off my head! - I never thought that I would laugh so much over being bald but seriously you had to be there to see just how funny it was! Eventually got packed to go away in the morning!
My joints (elbow and knee) have been a bit achy today apparently it is a side effect of the chemo - it's not unbearable just niggly, must remember to mention it when I go for my next treatment!
Thursday 16th February - Left home at 9.45 a.m. for our journey to Belaugh in Norfolk to stay with relatives for a couple of days - after about 50 minutes we stopped in Long Stratton for a break and snack - as I only usually drive short journeys to work and school I really didn't realise just how tired I would get driving the 50 miles we had to travel. It was an eye opener really and it made me realise that I have to be careful not to push myself and to listen to my body when its telling me to rest. Anyway we eventually arrived in Belaugh at 11.45a.m. and spent time resting and having lunch before going out for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Rested for the remainder of the afternoon and evening - the change of scenery was a good idea not just for me but also for Sam, she needed a break away from the routine at home and school.
Friday 17th February - Quite a busy day today - we had a short walk round the village after breakfast then visited Holt, and Cley, before driving back along the beautiful coast road. A lovely day but once back at Belaugh I have to admit the day had probably been a bit too busy for me - I was exhausted! After dinner we chilled then had an early night as I had to drive back to Ipswich in the morning.
Saturday 18th February - After a leisurely breakfast we said our goodbyes and headed into Wroxham for a quick look in the shops before the journey back to Ipswich - couldn't wait to get back and see Reno - it never feels quite right to be away whilst he is busy at work! Arrived home at 12.45p.m. quite glad the drive was over! I felt really tired but rested for the rest of the day - happy to be at home spending time with Reno and Sam!
Sunday 19th February - Had a lie in this morning and almost went back to sleep! However I really did want to go to church so I rallied myself and did just that! It's surprising how singing a few hymns can make me feel so much better! Joints still a nuisance  - but nothing I can't deal with. Spent a lovely afternoon cooking the roast and watching a film with Reno and Sam before Reno had to go to Felixstowe ready for work tomorrow.
Starting to look towards my next treatment on February 28th - I find it helps to almost look forward to it really as the time seems to pass quicker and it feels like I reach another goal each time. Every appointment to see the doctor, have a scan or have chemotherapy are like steps on my journey to reach the final climb which will be my surgery. Once that's done the climb will not be so steep and I will be able to look towards being really well again - the past month has gone so quickly its incredible - it really will be summer sooner than I think.! Bring it on!!!

Monday, 13 February 2017

The weekend

Thursday 09.02.17 - Went to work as planned today - quite an uneventful day!

Friday 10.02.17 - Quite tired today, but nonetheless spent a good part of the day helping my mum get a few bits for her new home and a bit of shopping, my sister took Sam horse riding and after preparing a casserole for dinner, I rested! Glad the weekend is here and half term for Sam who I think needs a good break - hopefully going away for a couple of days to Norfolk next Thursday-Saturday.

Saturday 11.02.17 - Had a lay in today just chilling, then went into town to get setting spray for my wig and nail cream to try and keep my nails strong while I am having chemotherapy! One problem today - hunger! I cannot stop eating!! Reno and Sam keep telling me my body is working so hard with all the drugs trying to keep well and strong that it is inevitable I need more food for energy! But feeling hungry all the time goes against how my mind works in trying to keep me trim! Reno had to work really hard keeping me away from every smell of food in the town! With the hairdresser due at 12.45p.m. we headed home and once she arrived I realised I have to change my mind-set with the wig. The thing is when I look in the mirror I want to see my hair but I see something quite different - in fact its very similar - but that's not how I see it - the hairdresser explained that other people really won't be able to tell especially since she has trimmed and shaped the wig more, it actually does look ok, I have to learn to "go with it" instead of fighting it! So that's that then - I only really want the wig for going out sometimes so go with it I will!! Chilled  for the rest of the day with Reno and Sam - lovely.

Sunday 12.02.17 - Today I can honestly say was the first time I woke up and felt rubbish, real rubbish! I felt like I was smelly! grumpy! my taste was deteriorating and generally I felt Crap! Reno and Sam were quick to reassure me that I wasn't smelly and I was entitled to be a bit grumpy! I had to shake myself, I really didn't want to feel like this all day! I showered and dressed and asked Reno and Sam if they would take me to the park for a walk! We wrapped up warm and did exactly that - it really was lovely and made me feel so much better though hungry of course!
After lunch we had a great afternoon watching Bridget Jones's Baby - a great film which I highly recommend - really funny - a great tonic! Mum came for dinner and the weekend was soon over with Reno having to go to Felixstowe this evening ready for an early start for work on Monday. I love our family time at the weekend - somehow nothing else really matters, nothing else at all.

Monday 13.02.17 - Been to work today as usual - left me feeling very tired but that's ok - I can deal with that - rest and naps til bedtime!

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

2nd Chemotherapy Treatment

7th February 2017 - Another milestone today - treatment two which means a quarter the way through my treatment! Yeah! My sister collected Sam and I and after dropping Sam at school we made our way to the hospital. My appointment wasn't until 10a.m. but its always good to relax with a coffee and chat before we go in just to calm the nerves! My first treatment I was a bit anxious as it was 'the unknown' this time I was anxious because I knew exactly what was coming!! Still haven't quite worked out which is worse!!
At 9.55 a.m. I once again entered the calming oncology department the nurses did their routine checks and the cannula was inserted ready for the drip and the syringes of drugs to be slowly fed in. The nurse administering my treatment, Helen, was lovely and just like Neriss she chatted about anything and everything all to make the experience less about the cancer and treatment - it really does work! I did get a little anxious at one point as before each syringe is about to be given the nurse always checks for a 'flash back' of blood from the vein to ensure the cannula has not moved, in this instance she couldn't get a flashback and had to call another nurse to have a go. My sister tried her hardest to distract me in conversation but all I could think about was having to have the cannula repositioned - luckily all was well the flashback eventually showed and we were away again with the treatment.  We left the hospital at 1.00p.m. and went home for lunch. I rested the remainder of the day and my sister cooked the evening meal and stayed the night just in case I should need her as support for Sam if I had been poorly.
Reno reluctantly returned to work this morning - he would rather be here with me, but we both have to be realistic - life goes on as normal as possible!
8th February 2017 - Had the usual nausea feeling this morning after not too bad a night. Stayed in bed until I had allowed the anti sickness drugs to do their stuff! The steroid ones are great! After about 10 minutes I have all the energy I need for about an hour - so I get showered, dressed, dishwasher on, washing machine on, it's wonderful! Then reality kicks in I am tired and have very little energy for the rest of the day - now is the time I sit, rest, and usually sleep! I am so thankful that I have friends who will take and pick Sam up from school - so much easier than waiting for the buses because as soon as she finishes she wants to get home to help me where she can as well as doing her studies - Bless her!
Hopefully tomorrow I will be at work as usual!

Monday, 6 February 2017

The weekend

Friday 03.02.2017 - Mums move to her new home happened today everyone available lent a helping hand and the move went reasonably smoothly with mum fairly settled in and comfortable by 5pm. Went home exhausted but pleased that I was able to help too - maybe not quite as much as everyone else but none the less I helped!
Saturday 04.02.2017 - Today didn't start too well - as I have already mentioned in my blogs my hair has been falling out rapidly since Tuesday 31.01.2017 - today was no different, I got in the shower as usual but when I finished showering and started to clear the plug hole strainer of hair I started to cry, I suddenly felt that I really did not want to be clearing hair from the plug hole any more, I didn't want to feel strands of hair falling down my face and body any more and I certainly didn't want to be crying about it ever again. Sam came into the bathroom to see what was wrong and I told her, she held me tight and I said I wanted her and Reno to help me shave my head today - it had to be today - I needed to move on from this upsetting situation. Decision made we told Reno as soon as he came back from helping my mum with the electrics in her new home. At 2.15 I sat in the conservatory ready, Sam held both my hands and Reno started to cut my hair to an eighth of an inch - I decided not to shave it because my head was feeling quite tender from hair loss. I felt very emotional but I knew that it had to be done and I had to get past this thing that was upsetting me, I needed to move on. So in ten minutes the deed was done and I went for a shower - wow - the best shower in a few days! I realise that it must have been a very difficult thing for Reno to do for me and for Sam to witness but somehow because we were all together we gained strength from each other - they are truly amazing and I love them both so much.
I felt so different now and got myself ready to meet Sams friends who we were taking bowling and for a meal to celebrate Sams birthday, I even managed to tie my bandana scarf first time - it's really pretty - I called Sam to ask her how I looked - 'Mum' she said 'you look beautiful!' 'Of course you are beautiful' said Reno 'you are my wife.'
We had a really great time together and as we walked along the waterfront to pizza express I felt great!
Sunday 05.02.2017 - Sam's 17th birthday! Where has the time gone! After spending time with Sam opening her presents and cards I went to church - I need to top up my faith now and again! Seriously I look forward to seeing everyone I meet at church on a Sunday and I am thankful for all their prayers.
When I got home Reno had sorted dinner and then I baked sausage rolls and prepared a few other nibbles ready for family to visit Sam during the afternoon and evening, I wanted today to be all about Sam - and I think we achieved that as far as possible. It was great to have a family gathering and catching up with each other. My sister in law, Sam and my  sister Anita all pledged to do the Race for Life on 25th June for Cancer Research, also my sister June is doing a 10K walk to raise money for the same cause - How wonderful are they? Such a great way to show their support. I love them all to bits! All in all its been a great weekend! I'm ready for work tomorrow!
Monday 06.02.2017 - Been to have my blood tested today ready for chemotherapy tomorrow. Went to work as planned. The hospital rang to say that I have an ultra sound scan booked for March 2nd to see if my tumour is shrinking - I will have had three lots of chemotherapy by then so fingers crossed! Sam had her first driving lesson today! It appears all went well! Spent a quiet evening together - Reno returns to work tomorrow - its going to feel really strange not having him around.