Friday 30th June 2017
Went to the clinic today for a wound and drain check. My Surgeon was very pleased with how the wound looks and I was thrilled when he asked the breast care nurse specialist to remove the drain and only replace minimal dressings where required. Hoorah!!! I can now move my arm however I like, so long as I don't feel any pain and I feel so free!! No more bag containing drain to hang on the loo door or the chest of drawers handle at night!!! The bag was very pretty but I was happy to be separated from it!!! I thanked the surgeon and nurse for all they had done for me although I will see them again apparently when I see my oncologist on 7th July. Also they want to see me on Monday 3rd just to clean the operation site and hopefully remove the last few small dressings.
So happy!!
Friday, 30 June 2017
Thursday, 29 June 2017
Operation & Race for Life
Wednesday 21st June 2017 - continued
After arriving at the admissions unit and being seen by a nurse, a registrar, a doctor, a breast specialist nurse, the surgeon and the anaesthetist I finally went to theatre at around 1.30p.m. and arrived back on the ward after recovery at 6.40p.m. to be greeted by Reno and Sam. I felt well and was not in any pain at all. I have to be very honest, I felt relieved that the operation was over and I was actually thankful that I had survived surgery - this may sound dramatic but that was truly how I felt. I have so much to be thankful for. Reno and Sam were able to stay with me for quite some time before they left and I was settled for the night.
Thursday 22nd June 2017
Didn't have a very good nights sleep on the ward but there was a lot of activity! Two lovely nurses helped me have a wash and get dressed ready to go home. There was Iodine everywhere! Even on my bum which seems a little extreme when the operation was on my breast!!! Anyway I was all ready to be discharged by 11.45 I had a drain attached (actually stitched to my flesh which was great as I had been warned that they can fall out if they are taped in) and was told to attend the breast clinic on Friday 23rd to have my wound and drain checked. It was great to get home again though difficult to accept that I could do very little and needed to be waited on hand and foot! By 9p.m. I felt really tired and had an early night - Reno volunteered to sleep on the sofa (cooler than the spare room!!!) as we were both worried about knocking my wound or affecting the drain in some way, however I had to disturb Reno during the night to help me get out of bed when I needed the bathroom.
Friday 23rd June 2017
Slept fairly well last night and once we had dropped Sam at school Reno and I headed for the hospital for my wound and drain check. All was well and my surgeon confirmed that my stitches are dissolvable and the drain would stay in for approx. 10 days. The antibiotics the ward had given me have to be taken for 7 days. Three further wound and drain check appointments have been made for next Monday Wednesday and Friday. Returned home for a restful afternoon and evening.
Saturday 24th June 2017
My sister came and sat with me this morning as Reno had to take Sam for an early morning appointment at the hospital. I need help with most things at the moment as I am not allowed to move my left arm away from the side of my body. I am allowed to raise the arm (I was told I would be able to comb my hair! ) so long as it stays close to my body and I don't try to move the elbow outwards. I can also slightly shrug my shoulders but nothing else until the drain is removed! Bearing this in mind once Reno and Sam returned we all had a restful day other than Reno who is intent on doing the chores including car cleaning which I could not convince him really was not necessary in the scheme of things!! Bless him! We all went to bed fairly early in preparation to be up early on Sunday ready for the Race For Life.
Sunday 25th June 2017 - Race for Life!
We were all up and about by 7.30a.m. this morning excited for the day ahead! My sister came round at 9.15 a.m. and set up her ipad with whatsapp (and showing me how to use such technology!) so that those taking part and spectating could send me live pictures, videos and messages so I felt part of the event, I could also send them messages of encouragement. Reno's sister came to sit with me so I was not alone and once Sam & Reno had left we waited in anticipation for the first pictures. I felt so emotional as they started to come through and so proud of Sam, Anita, June, Tasha, Kerry and Caron for taking part, I know how much it means to them and to me to raise money for such a worthy cause as breast cancer. We all hope that in the future if cancer is diagnosed then perhaps a tablet to cure or take for a while will replace the chemotherapy that can do so much damage whilst it kills the cancer cells and that future patients will not have to endure such harsh side effects. Sam finished the 5K race in 40 mins and Anita Caron and Tasha all finished within minutes of Sam. June and Kerry walked the 10K course and achieved their goals of finishing in less than two hours. By the time all the sponsor money is in, as a family they will have raised around £3000.00!!! I am immensely proud of them all!
The photos and videos continued to come through and I really felt part of the whole event. At around 1.30p.m. those who had taken part and all those who went along to support them arrived back at ours for a few bites to eat which everyone had contributed to, and a general get together. Everyone was buzzing wearing their medals with pride, they were tired but none of them it seemed wanted to give in to it yet as they were just enjoying the moment. What a great day! Once everyone had left I felt exhausted but I didn't care all I felt was pride at what they had achieved.
Monday 26th June 2017
My sister arrived early this morning to take Sam to school and me to the hospital for a drain and wound check. The hospital were so pleased with how things are going they have cancelled my appointment on Wednesday and will see me as planned on Friday. The rest of the day I rested and as I can do a little bit more for myself I tried not to be to much trouble to anyone!
Tuesday 27th June 2017 - Thursday 29th June 2017
Quite quiet resting days with a trip to the shop to get me some exercise and keep me moving! My sister has altered my bras though! When I was first told about my operation it was suggested that I go to M&S and get fitted for a couple of sports bras with front zip fastening. This is because as soon as the operation is over you have to start wearing a very supportive bra for at least 23 hours a day for 6-8 weeks!! (To wear a bra 23 hours a day when I have not had surgery would be quite a task!) At first, it didn't seem too bad, but as time has gone on the bras seem to have got tighter and tighter especially when I am tired, and they have actually been cutting in under my arms which has felt quite painful where I had lymph nodes removed. However, sister to the rescue! I now have a piece of elastic stitched into the shoulder straps to give me extra space in the arm holes and OMG what a difference that has made!!! I still have the support around my bust but not the tightness under my arms! Hallelujah!!! Call it coincidence or whatever you like but since my bras have been altered I have slept right through the night!
Felt a little low Thursday morning as my finger tips continue to feel numb and tingling and I couldn't undo my blouse buttons! I had a telephone conversation with my breast care nurse and she explained this numbness could go on for some months! A little daunting but now I know what I have to deal with I have pulled myself together and realise I just have to deal with it! After all I have dealt with worse and since surgery I know things will improve and can only get better.
The only way forward is continued positive thinking - so that's the way I will go - Onwards and Upwards!!!!!!
After arriving at the admissions unit and being seen by a nurse, a registrar, a doctor, a breast specialist nurse, the surgeon and the anaesthetist I finally went to theatre at around 1.30p.m. and arrived back on the ward after recovery at 6.40p.m. to be greeted by Reno and Sam. I felt well and was not in any pain at all. I have to be very honest, I felt relieved that the operation was over and I was actually thankful that I had survived surgery - this may sound dramatic but that was truly how I felt. I have so much to be thankful for. Reno and Sam were able to stay with me for quite some time before they left and I was settled for the night.
Thursday 22nd June 2017
Didn't have a very good nights sleep on the ward but there was a lot of activity! Two lovely nurses helped me have a wash and get dressed ready to go home. There was Iodine everywhere! Even on my bum which seems a little extreme when the operation was on my breast!!! Anyway I was all ready to be discharged by 11.45 I had a drain attached (actually stitched to my flesh which was great as I had been warned that they can fall out if they are taped in) and was told to attend the breast clinic on Friday 23rd to have my wound and drain checked. It was great to get home again though difficult to accept that I could do very little and needed to be waited on hand and foot! By 9p.m. I felt really tired and had an early night - Reno volunteered to sleep on the sofa (cooler than the spare room!!!) as we were both worried about knocking my wound or affecting the drain in some way, however I had to disturb Reno during the night to help me get out of bed when I needed the bathroom.
Friday 23rd June 2017
Slept fairly well last night and once we had dropped Sam at school Reno and I headed for the hospital for my wound and drain check. All was well and my surgeon confirmed that my stitches are dissolvable and the drain would stay in for approx. 10 days. The antibiotics the ward had given me have to be taken for 7 days. Three further wound and drain check appointments have been made for next Monday Wednesday and Friday. Returned home for a restful afternoon and evening.
Saturday 24th June 2017
My sister came and sat with me this morning as Reno had to take Sam for an early morning appointment at the hospital. I need help with most things at the moment as I am not allowed to move my left arm away from the side of my body. I am allowed to raise the arm (I was told I would be able to comb my hair! ) so long as it stays close to my body and I don't try to move the elbow outwards. I can also slightly shrug my shoulders but nothing else until the drain is removed! Bearing this in mind once Reno and Sam returned we all had a restful day other than Reno who is intent on doing the chores including car cleaning which I could not convince him really was not necessary in the scheme of things!! Bless him! We all went to bed fairly early in preparation to be up early on Sunday ready for the Race For Life.
Sunday 25th June 2017 - Race for Life!
We were all up and about by 7.30a.m. this morning excited for the day ahead! My sister came round at 9.15 a.m. and set up her ipad with whatsapp (and showing me how to use such technology!) so that those taking part and spectating could send me live pictures, videos and messages so I felt part of the event, I could also send them messages of encouragement. Reno's sister came to sit with me so I was not alone and once Sam & Reno had left we waited in anticipation for the first pictures. I felt so emotional as they started to come through and so proud of Sam, Anita, June, Tasha, Kerry and Caron for taking part, I know how much it means to them and to me to raise money for such a worthy cause as breast cancer. We all hope that in the future if cancer is diagnosed then perhaps a tablet to cure or take for a while will replace the chemotherapy that can do so much damage whilst it kills the cancer cells and that future patients will not have to endure such harsh side effects. Sam finished the 5K race in 40 mins and Anita Caron and Tasha all finished within minutes of Sam. June and Kerry walked the 10K course and achieved their goals of finishing in less than two hours. By the time all the sponsor money is in, as a family they will have raised around £3000.00!!! I am immensely proud of them all!
The photos and videos continued to come through and I really felt part of the whole event. At around 1.30p.m. those who had taken part and all those who went along to support them arrived back at ours for a few bites to eat which everyone had contributed to, and a general get together. Everyone was buzzing wearing their medals with pride, they were tired but none of them it seemed wanted to give in to it yet as they were just enjoying the moment. What a great day! Once everyone had left I felt exhausted but I didn't care all I felt was pride at what they had achieved.
Monday 26th June 2017
My sister arrived early this morning to take Sam to school and me to the hospital for a drain and wound check. The hospital were so pleased with how things are going they have cancelled my appointment on Wednesday and will see me as planned on Friday. The rest of the day I rested and as I can do a little bit more for myself I tried not to be to much trouble to anyone!
Tuesday 27th June 2017 - Thursday 29th June 2017
Quite quiet resting days with a trip to the shop to get me some exercise and keep me moving! My sister has altered my bras though! When I was first told about my operation it was suggested that I go to M&S and get fitted for a couple of sports bras with front zip fastening. This is because as soon as the operation is over you have to start wearing a very supportive bra for at least 23 hours a day for 6-8 weeks!! (To wear a bra 23 hours a day when I have not had surgery would be quite a task!) At first, it didn't seem too bad, but as time has gone on the bras seem to have got tighter and tighter especially when I am tired, and they have actually been cutting in under my arms which has felt quite painful where I had lymph nodes removed. However, sister to the rescue! I now have a piece of elastic stitched into the shoulder straps to give me extra space in the arm holes and OMG what a difference that has made!!! I still have the support around my bust but not the tightness under my arms! Hallelujah!!! Call it coincidence or whatever you like but since my bras have been altered I have slept right through the night!
Felt a little low Thursday morning as my finger tips continue to feel numb and tingling and I couldn't undo my blouse buttons! I had a telephone conversation with my breast care nurse and she explained this numbness could go on for some months! A little daunting but now I know what I have to deal with I have pulled myself together and realise I just have to deal with it! After all I have dealt with worse and since surgery I know things will improve and can only get better.
The only way forward is continued positive thinking - so that's the way I will go - Onwards and Upwards!!!!!!
Wednesday, 21 June 2017
Big Day!
Wednesday 21st June 2017
Sorry its been a week since my last post but I have had today on my mind quite a lot and have been concentrating on keeping fit and well ready for todays operation. My fingers and toes have been crossed hoping the operation will go ahead! I went to the hospital on Monday for a blood test to make sure my bloods were ok for today and also my surgeon ordered 2 units of blood for today just incase after the op my bloods get a bit low. My heart scan didn't show any significant change from the last one so all I need to do now is hope that the anaesthetist is happy with everything and he will agree the operation can go ahead today.
One piece of 'news' - I have started to lose my finger nails! One gone already but a new nail - though paper thin - already underneath! Its really quite interesting as some of the nails are flaking from the cuticle whilst others are gradually lifting from the top! They don't hurt but my finger tips feel tingly - a little awkward for opening things like the shower gel and doing up buttons but I guess it wont go on for too long and the new nails will get stronger.
Well I hope it won't be too long before my next entry but I guess I need to concentrate on my recovery after the operation so bare with me and I will catch up soon!!
Sorry its been a week since my last post but I have had today on my mind quite a lot and have been concentrating on keeping fit and well ready for todays operation. My fingers and toes have been crossed hoping the operation will go ahead! I went to the hospital on Monday for a blood test to make sure my bloods were ok for today and also my surgeon ordered 2 units of blood for today just incase after the op my bloods get a bit low. My heart scan didn't show any significant change from the last one so all I need to do now is hope that the anaesthetist is happy with everything and he will agree the operation can go ahead today.
One piece of 'news' - I have started to lose my finger nails! One gone already but a new nail - though paper thin - already underneath! Its really quite interesting as some of the nails are flaking from the cuticle whilst others are gradually lifting from the top! They don't hurt but my finger tips feel tingly - a little awkward for opening things like the shower gel and doing up buttons but I guess it wont go on for too long and the new nails will get stronger.
Well I hope it won't be too long before my next entry but I guess I need to concentrate on my recovery after the operation so bare with me and I will catch up soon!!
Thursday, 15 June 2017
Busy few days!
Saturday 10th June 2017 - We all got up early this morning and left at 8.45a.m. to go to Cambridge. We used the park and ride and arrived at the university at around 10.15a.m. It was an interesting though tiring day and it gave Sam an insight to university life. It was 5p.m. by the time we arrived home again - the tiredness having now got to all of us! I am glad I went but if I am honest it probably was too long a day for me but at least I felt I had helped to support Sam with Reno as she explores where her education will take her once sixth form is finished.
Sunday 11th June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning but made sure I was about by 11.a.m. as Reno had to go into work and Sam was off out for the day. Me?.......I was going to enjoy being on my own with my book the TV and of course the occasional 40winks!! However, after a good start to the day by lunchtime about 12.30, I began to feel a bit hot and slightly under the weather. I took my temperature thinking maybe I ought to keep an eye on it and it was 39.5! I decided it must be the hot weather and put the fan on high and waited for 10 minutes before taking it again .....38.8. As I also felt a bit like I had a cold I decided to ring Somersham Ward and get there advice - I couldn't really see that I should have a problem with my temperature regarding my treatment because I have stopped having the actual drug that can cause high temperature - or so I thought!! The nurse on the end of the phone confirmed that whilst having any sort of treatment in the oncology dept. it should be standard procedure to call Somersham Ward emergency number if my temperature should spike above 37.5! They asked me to report to the ward a.s.a.p. so that they could check me out! I ring my sister to and she said she would be with me in five minutes to take me in case they decided to keep me in. In total we were there around 6 hours! They gave me intravenous antibiotics and took a blood sample (after 2 attempts including popping a vein which has left me with a wonderful bruise! - not their fault I hasten to add, just my rubbish veins!) and said as soon as the results were back they would let me know and in the meantime we waited in the day room. After 2 hours the results were back and, not too bad! My infection level was up slightly though my blood counts were all ok. However because it could not be determined exactly why my infection level was raised I was told I had to see the doctor before I could leave! He eventually arrived at 6.45 p.m. and once he knew that I was having surgery on Wednesday 14th he decided to give me a course of antibiotics to be on the safe side. The doctor assured me that I could still have my treatment on Monday and nothing should affect my planned operation on Wednesday (thank goodness for that!), though he did ask me to report to the breast clinic on Monday just to let them know what had gone on! I returned home and started to wonder if perhaps I had over done things a bit in Cambridge on Saturday? Once Sam and I had eventually eaten we decided an early night was the best plan ready for my treatment tomorrow!
Monday 12th June 2017 - My sister and I dropped Sam off at school and then continued on to the hospital for my treatment. As we had plenty of time we called in at the breast clinic first to let them know the events of yesterday. After the receptionist took all the details she spoke with Miss Mortimer my surgeon, whose response was "Report to Theatre Admissions as planned on Wednesday" - Great! We then went to oncology and settled ourselves in the allocated bay for my treatment. After a while a nurse came over and apologised for the delay but she had needed to speak with my Dr Ram (my oncologist) because of my heart scan results. This all came as a bit of a shock to me - apparently my heart performance has deteriorated since having Herceptin and I was now close to the limit when Herceptin can still be given! I had so many questions regarding this but unfortunately the nurse could not answer them and said I would have to speak with Dr Ram once my surgery had been done. But she reassured me that treatment today would be fine. After 3 attempts to get a cannula into a 'good as it gets!' vein my treatment began and we were ready to leave by 1.45p.m. I still felt a little daunted about the heart scan but decided it was no good worrying about it until I could get my questions answered by my doctor - so I tried to put it out of my mind for the rest of the day. My other sister called round during the evening just to make sure I was feeling ok about my operation - I was honest with her - I was ok but nervous and just wanted it done with! Roll on Wednesday!!!
Tuesday 13th June 2017 - Had a quite restful day ready for tomorrow - I even felt a weird kind of excitement mixed in with a bag full of nerves and a few feelings of apprehension - not a wonderful recipe but hey - it got me through the day!!! During the evening I packed my overnight bag and then had another early night as I had to make sure I had some breakfast and my last drink (other than water which I can have up til 11a.m.) before 7a.m.
Wednesday 14th June 2017 - Hoorah! Surgery day finally here! Reno and I arrived at the Theatre Admission Dept. at 11a.m. as instructed where my wristband was put on (As if I could be mistaken for anyone else!!! - I am unique!!!) and almost as soon as our bottoms touched the seats in the waiting room we were called through to another room for me to be prepared for theatre apparently at around 1.30p.m.! I felt quite important as one by one different people came in to see me!!! First of all a male nurse, who took my temperature, pulse and blood pressure which of course was a bit high but I had taken my BP recordings in and he was happy that it had been fine earlier in the day! Then my specialist breast care nurse arrived who talked through everything with me from the surgery to the plan for once I was discharged. She was certain that I would be kept on the ward for one night and then discharged the following morning provided all was well. She made me feel a bit more relaxed and assured me that everything would be fine though she would mention once again to Miss Mortimer about my antibiotics as she was unsure whether I should be continuing with them as I would be given antibiotics intravenously during my operation. Next came the physiotherapist who had a booklet for me tailored just for my requirements after surgery. She explained I would do very little for the first 3-4 days but even that 'very little' would help stop my shoulder going stiff and help for when I would be encouraged to do a bit more. I have an appointment to see her on June 28th for a group session of exercise! Next came the registrar to Miss Mortimer and he went over a few things with me and asked a few questions about Sunday. He seemed to think that everything was fine and told me that Miss Mortimer herself would be along to have a chat with me. Once she arrived she didn't seem too happy at all that Dr Ram had allowed me to have Herceptin on Monday - so close to surgery knowing that from the heart scan he could tell that the Herceptin is having an effect on my heart, and also she didn't seem overly pleased that I had reported to Somersham Ward on Sunday even though she had been made aware of this on Monday! Her first reaction was to say that the surgery would have to be postponed probably for 4 weeks! As you can imagine this upset me greatly and after some discussion with me I think she realised that maybe she had been a bit harsh because she then said 'let's get you gowned up and I will do my theatre drawings on you, then I will go and see the anaesthetist and the decision will be his' So this we did and we waited for Miss Mortimer to come back with the anaesthetist. After a short while they both returned and sat down. They explained that they had had a discussion and really did not think it would be wise to go ahead with the surgery today. The anaesthetist was concerned that my surgery was already classed as high risk surgery which is no problem if you are fit, but they explained my whole body has gone through so much in the past few months added to which the issue with what the Herceptin was doing then adding in the fact that I could still have some infection somewhere that I was taking the antibiotics for, it just put the risk factor too high and it was a risk that he was not prepared to take. Obviously I was gutted to say the least but I was thankful they told me they already had a plan and of course I have total respect for them both and knew that they were absolutely right. I am to attend the breast clinic on Monday morning first thing after having a blood test at the path lab. I also have some forms for the path lab to match me 2 units of blood ready for my surgery day which would now be Wednesday 21st June. After approx. an hour Miss Mortimer will have the blood test results and be able to make sure everything ok with them. I would also get an appointment to have my heart checked by ultra sound before surgery. Then I would be admitted on Wednesday 21st as I had been today, same time etc. but I would definitely be staying overnight and if I needed a top up of blood they would have it all ready sorted. Miss Mortimer and the anaesthetist assured me that this was the right thing to do and of course I realised that too - I don't want anyone putting me at any more risk than they have to! They both left knowing that I was happy that I had another date for surgery and after we had had a cup of tea we left too! However, we were almost at the main door out of the hospital when my mobile rang and it was a lady telling me my heart scan was booked for today in 20 minutes! How good is that - so we turned around and headed to the cardiology clinic for the scan!
The scan took about 15 mins and the nurse who did it said the report would go straight to Miss Mortimer so she would have it when I saw her on Monday! As I went out of the room the nurse looked at me and said ' don't worry I am certain it's all fine' and smiled. I found that quite reassuring.
We left the hospital finally at around 2.30p.m. and had some lunch out before going home - where I intend to do nothing but rest up practice my exercises, have a few short walks in the sunshine as Miss Mortimer has suggested, and get myself as fit and well as I can possibly be for Wednesday 21st - I really don't want a repeat of today - I just want to get this next step done. Bring it on!!!!!!
Before I finish I must just tell you that..........my hair has started to grow!! its just peeping through so I cannot determine the colour yet but it's definitely there and can no longer be called 'bum fluff' - it is most definitely hair!!!! It's also started to grow back on my legs too - not quite enough to need shaving but it's a start anyway!!!
Sunday 11th June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning but made sure I was about by 11.a.m. as Reno had to go into work and Sam was off out for the day. Me?.......I was going to enjoy being on my own with my book the TV and of course the occasional 40winks!! However, after a good start to the day by lunchtime about 12.30, I began to feel a bit hot and slightly under the weather. I took my temperature thinking maybe I ought to keep an eye on it and it was 39.5! I decided it must be the hot weather and put the fan on high and waited for 10 minutes before taking it again .....38.8. As I also felt a bit like I had a cold I decided to ring Somersham Ward and get there advice - I couldn't really see that I should have a problem with my temperature regarding my treatment because I have stopped having the actual drug that can cause high temperature - or so I thought!! The nurse on the end of the phone confirmed that whilst having any sort of treatment in the oncology dept. it should be standard procedure to call Somersham Ward emergency number if my temperature should spike above 37.5! They asked me to report to the ward a.s.a.p. so that they could check me out! I ring my sister to and she said she would be with me in five minutes to take me in case they decided to keep me in. In total we were there around 6 hours! They gave me intravenous antibiotics and took a blood sample (after 2 attempts including popping a vein which has left me with a wonderful bruise! - not their fault I hasten to add, just my rubbish veins!) and said as soon as the results were back they would let me know and in the meantime we waited in the day room. After 2 hours the results were back and, not too bad! My infection level was up slightly though my blood counts were all ok. However because it could not be determined exactly why my infection level was raised I was told I had to see the doctor before I could leave! He eventually arrived at 6.45 p.m. and once he knew that I was having surgery on Wednesday 14th he decided to give me a course of antibiotics to be on the safe side. The doctor assured me that I could still have my treatment on Monday and nothing should affect my planned operation on Wednesday (thank goodness for that!), though he did ask me to report to the breast clinic on Monday just to let them know what had gone on! I returned home and started to wonder if perhaps I had over done things a bit in Cambridge on Saturday? Once Sam and I had eventually eaten we decided an early night was the best plan ready for my treatment tomorrow!
Monday 12th June 2017 - My sister and I dropped Sam off at school and then continued on to the hospital for my treatment. As we had plenty of time we called in at the breast clinic first to let them know the events of yesterday. After the receptionist took all the details she spoke with Miss Mortimer my surgeon, whose response was "Report to Theatre Admissions as planned on Wednesday" - Great! We then went to oncology and settled ourselves in the allocated bay for my treatment. After a while a nurse came over and apologised for the delay but she had needed to speak with my Dr Ram (my oncologist) because of my heart scan results. This all came as a bit of a shock to me - apparently my heart performance has deteriorated since having Herceptin and I was now close to the limit when Herceptin can still be given! I had so many questions regarding this but unfortunately the nurse could not answer them and said I would have to speak with Dr Ram once my surgery had been done. But she reassured me that treatment today would be fine. After 3 attempts to get a cannula into a 'good as it gets!' vein my treatment began and we were ready to leave by 1.45p.m. I still felt a little daunted about the heart scan but decided it was no good worrying about it until I could get my questions answered by my doctor - so I tried to put it out of my mind for the rest of the day. My other sister called round during the evening just to make sure I was feeling ok about my operation - I was honest with her - I was ok but nervous and just wanted it done with! Roll on Wednesday!!!
Tuesday 13th June 2017 - Had a quite restful day ready for tomorrow - I even felt a weird kind of excitement mixed in with a bag full of nerves and a few feelings of apprehension - not a wonderful recipe but hey - it got me through the day!!! During the evening I packed my overnight bag and then had another early night as I had to make sure I had some breakfast and my last drink (other than water which I can have up til 11a.m.) before 7a.m.
Wednesday 14th June 2017 - Hoorah! Surgery day finally here! Reno and I arrived at the Theatre Admission Dept. at 11a.m. as instructed where my wristband was put on (As if I could be mistaken for anyone else!!! - I am unique!!!) and almost as soon as our bottoms touched the seats in the waiting room we were called through to another room for me to be prepared for theatre apparently at around 1.30p.m.! I felt quite important as one by one different people came in to see me!!! First of all a male nurse, who took my temperature, pulse and blood pressure which of course was a bit high but I had taken my BP recordings in and he was happy that it had been fine earlier in the day! Then my specialist breast care nurse arrived who talked through everything with me from the surgery to the plan for once I was discharged. She was certain that I would be kept on the ward for one night and then discharged the following morning provided all was well. She made me feel a bit more relaxed and assured me that everything would be fine though she would mention once again to Miss Mortimer about my antibiotics as she was unsure whether I should be continuing with them as I would be given antibiotics intravenously during my operation. Next came the physiotherapist who had a booklet for me tailored just for my requirements after surgery. She explained I would do very little for the first 3-4 days but even that 'very little' would help stop my shoulder going stiff and help for when I would be encouraged to do a bit more. I have an appointment to see her on June 28th for a group session of exercise! Next came the registrar to Miss Mortimer and he went over a few things with me and asked a few questions about Sunday. He seemed to think that everything was fine and told me that Miss Mortimer herself would be along to have a chat with me. Once she arrived she didn't seem too happy at all that Dr Ram had allowed me to have Herceptin on Monday - so close to surgery knowing that from the heart scan he could tell that the Herceptin is having an effect on my heart, and also she didn't seem overly pleased that I had reported to Somersham Ward on Sunday even though she had been made aware of this on Monday! Her first reaction was to say that the surgery would have to be postponed probably for 4 weeks! As you can imagine this upset me greatly and after some discussion with me I think she realised that maybe she had been a bit harsh because she then said 'let's get you gowned up and I will do my theatre drawings on you, then I will go and see the anaesthetist and the decision will be his' So this we did and we waited for Miss Mortimer to come back with the anaesthetist. After a short while they both returned and sat down. They explained that they had had a discussion and really did not think it would be wise to go ahead with the surgery today. The anaesthetist was concerned that my surgery was already classed as high risk surgery which is no problem if you are fit, but they explained my whole body has gone through so much in the past few months added to which the issue with what the Herceptin was doing then adding in the fact that I could still have some infection somewhere that I was taking the antibiotics for, it just put the risk factor too high and it was a risk that he was not prepared to take. Obviously I was gutted to say the least but I was thankful they told me they already had a plan and of course I have total respect for them both and knew that they were absolutely right. I am to attend the breast clinic on Monday morning first thing after having a blood test at the path lab. I also have some forms for the path lab to match me 2 units of blood ready for my surgery day which would now be Wednesday 21st June. After approx. an hour Miss Mortimer will have the blood test results and be able to make sure everything ok with them. I would also get an appointment to have my heart checked by ultra sound before surgery. Then I would be admitted on Wednesday 21st as I had been today, same time etc. but I would definitely be staying overnight and if I needed a top up of blood they would have it all ready sorted. Miss Mortimer and the anaesthetist assured me that this was the right thing to do and of course I realised that too - I don't want anyone putting me at any more risk than they have to! They both left knowing that I was happy that I had another date for surgery and after we had had a cup of tea we left too! However, we were almost at the main door out of the hospital when my mobile rang and it was a lady telling me my heart scan was booked for today in 20 minutes! How good is that - so we turned around and headed to the cardiology clinic for the scan!
The scan took about 15 mins and the nurse who did it said the report would go straight to Miss Mortimer so she would have it when I saw her on Monday! As I went out of the room the nurse looked at me and said ' don't worry I am certain it's all fine' and smiled. I found that quite reassuring.
We left the hospital finally at around 2.30p.m. and had some lunch out before going home - where I intend to do nothing but rest up practice my exercises, have a few short walks in the sunshine as Miss Mortimer has suggested, and get myself as fit and well as I can possibly be for Wednesday 21st - I really don't want a repeat of today - I just want to get this next step done. Bring it on!!!!!!
Before I finish I must just tell you that..........my hair has started to grow!! its just peeping through so I cannot determine the colour yet but it's definitely there and can no longer be called 'bum fluff' - it is most definitely hair!!!! It's also started to grow back on my legs too - not quite enough to need shaving but it's a start anyway!!!
Friday, 9 June 2017
Bit of a rant!
Tuesday 06.06.17 & Wednesday 07.06.17
Tuesday and Wednesday were quite uneventful days - pottered about at home and rested quite a lot!
One piece of good news - our daughter passed her driving theory test!! Hooray! Well done Sam!
Thursday 08.06.17
Woke very early this morning and not sure why but I woke in quite a negative mood - maybe it was a dream that I couldn't remember that set me off but to say I felt low was an understatement! In fact I cried and cried which has only happened I think once before and all I can say was I wallowed like a big fat rhino in self pity!!! The following list was all I could think about and the more I thought about it the sadder I got and the more I cried! I didn't want to be hairless anymore, I didn't want my nails to look so skanky - they are very brown, ridged and a layer of nail is now starting to lift on my thumb from the cuticle end - it looks awful, I didn't want to have tingly numb feeling finger tips and toes and soles of my feet anymore, I was worried about surgery and how I would feel once the operation was over. Then there was the wait for the results - would they find any stray cells that had sparked off from the tumour and started to grow elsewhere - would there be any follow up treatment after surgery, what would that be like and how would it affect me, and above all I just wanted something to eat that tasted like it should because very little does!The other thing that was worrying me was I had snapped at Reno & Sam the night before for no apparent reason and I showed no signs of having a sense of humour at all. What exactly is happening to me - I just want to be me - this cancer has changed me in a way I seem to have no control over and I am worried that the person I was will never be seen again. I don't want to be that person I just want to be me, I want to be the wife and mum that I was before all this started and that Reno and Sam deserve - they didn't ask for any of this either and they have had so much to put up with. Then as the rant slowly ended and I started to pull myself together (I didn't want Sam to wake and find me in this mess!) I began to try and turn the negatives around and look for the one positive thing that I have to constantly hold on to - the chemotherapy that is the cause of most of the things above has actually made my tumour disappear! If it can do that then surely stray cells didn't stand a chance either - the tears slowly subsided and once again I came to the conclusion that all of the above are really a small price to pay because I am certain that in about 12 months I will be back to my old self - yes there will be lots of follow up appointments and check ups but that's all good - the future does look bright and I can't wait to say - Carol what were you worrying about!!
Once up and about I felt much better the low mood had passed and I was looking forward to seeing my friends during the afternoon who were coming to take me for another walk around Needham Lake! When we got there it was sunny though the wind was a little chilly but that didn't spoil the sight of the lake, the goslings, the cygnets and the ducklings - all so very cute. What a lovely way to spend the afternoon again................this morning? Forgotten!!!
Friday 09.06.2017
Bit of a shock to the system this morning as I had to be up by 6.30 to get ready for an appointment at the hospital in the Nuclear Medicine Dept. for a Heart Scan at 8.45 a.m. Sam was coming with me (bigger shock to her system I think!!!) and we were out in the car by 8.15a.m. so all was well. The scan consists of two injections - one given 30 minutes before the other and then after electrodes being placed around the heart the scan commences and today lasted approx. 10 minutes. The second injection puts a radioactive tracer into the vein for the scan to follow. (You are warned to stay away from pregnant ladies and small children for the day!) The injections were slightly painful for a few seconds but only because of the state of my veins! Other than that it is a simple procedure and on leaving I was advised to drink a lot and pee a lot to wash the tracer out of my system!!! Next we went down to oncology to have blood taken to ensure that everything is ok for my treatment on Monday 12.06.17. As this was the last weekday of Sam's 4 week study leave I then decided that we should go out for lunch together by way of a treat for us both! This we did but then returned home extremely tired and had a very chilled afternoon in front of the TV before Sam went off horse riding. Relaxing for the rest of the evening as tomorrow is a big day - we are all going to Cambridge for the Open Day of Anglia Ruskin University so Sam can have a good look around in case she decides that is where she would like to study!
Tuesday and Wednesday were quite uneventful days - pottered about at home and rested quite a lot!
One piece of good news - our daughter passed her driving theory test!! Hooray! Well done Sam!
Thursday 08.06.17
Woke very early this morning and not sure why but I woke in quite a negative mood - maybe it was a dream that I couldn't remember that set me off but to say I felt low was an understatement! In fact I cried and cried which has only happened I think once before and all I can say was I wallowed like a big fat rhino in self pity!!! The following list was all I could think about and the more I thought about it the sadder I got and the more I cried! I didn't want to be hairless anymore, I didn't want my nails to look so skanky - they are very brown, ridged and a layer of nail is now starting to lift on my thumb from the cuticle end - it looks awful, I didn't want to have tingly numb feeling finger tips and toes and soles of my feet anymore, I was worried about surgery and how I would feel once the operation was over. Then there was the wait for the results - would they find any stray cells that had sparked off from the tumour and started to grow elsewhere - would there be any follow up treatment after surgery, what would that be like and how would it affect me, and above all I just wanted something to eat that tasted like it should because very little does!The other thing that was worrying me was I had snapped at Reno & Sam the night before for no apparent reason and I showed no signs of having a sense of humour at all. What exactly is happening to me - I just want to be me - this cancer has changed me in a way I seem to have no control over and I am worried that the person I was will never be seen again. I don't want to be that person I just want to be me, I want to be the wife and mum that I was before all this started and that Reno and Sam deserve - they didn't ask for any of this either and they have had so much to put up with. Then as the rant slowly ended and I started to pull myself together (I didn't want Sam to wake and find me in this mess!) I began to try and turn the negatives around and look for the one positive thing that I have to constantly hold on to - the chemotherapy that is the cause of most of the things above has actually made my tumour disappear! If it can do that then surely stray cells didn't stand a chance either - the tears slowly subsided and once again I came to the conclusion that all of the above are really a small price to pay because I am certain that in about 12 months I will be back to my old self - yes there will be lots of follow up appointments and check ups but that's all good - the future does look bright and I can't wait to say - Carol what were you worrying about!!
Once up and about I felt much better the low mood had passed and I was looking forward to seeing my friends during the afternoon who were coming to take me for another walk around Needham Lake! When we got there it was sunny though the wind was a little chilly but that didn't spoil the sight of the lake, the goslings, the cygnets and the ducklings - all so very cute. What a lovely way to spend the afternoon again................this morning? Forgotten!!!
Friday 09.06.2017
Bit of a shock to the system this morning as I had to be up by 6.30 to get ready for an appointment at the hospital in the Nuclear Medicine Dept. for a Heart Scan at 8.45 a.m. Sam was coming with me (bigger shock to her system I think!!!) and we were out in the car by 8.15a.m. so all was well. The scan consists of two injections - one given 30 minutes before the other and then after electrodes being placed around the heart the scan commences and today lasted approx. 10 minutes. The second injection puts a radioactive tracer into the vein for the scan to follow. (You are warned to stay away from pregnant ladies and small children for the day!) The injections were slightly painful for a few seconds but only because of the state of my veins! Other than that it is a simple procedure and on leaving I was advised to drink a lot and pee a lot to wash the tracer out of my system!!! Next we went down to oncology to have blood taken to ensure that everything is ok for my treatment on Monday 12.06.17. As this was the last weekday of Sam's 4 week study leave I then decided that we should go out for lunch together by way of a treat for us both! This we did but then returned home extremely tired and had a very chilled afternoon in front of the TV before Sam went off horse riding. Relaxing for the rest of the evening as tomorrow is a big day - we are all going to Cambridge for the Open Day of Anglia Ruskin University so Sam can have a good look around in case she decides that is where she would like to study!
Monday, 5 June 2017
1st weekend of June!
Thursday 1st June 2017 - I have been looking forward to today for at least a week! Woke up after a good nights sleep and got myself ready to be picked up at 11.30a.m. by a friend who I have 'bumped into' but not had the chance to really catch up with for years! The sun is shining and I feel quite well and as I look in the mirror (not a great sight these days!!!!) I realise that the daily walks are paying off - where my skin on my thighs had just hung (sad but true!!) after being in hospital and my muscles had just wasted away, they suddenly look more like they used to! and I can feel that the muscles are building up. Makes me feel better about myself. Once ready I eagerly await my friend who arrived on the dot at 11.30 and we set off for Holbrook Compasses - really lovely country pub.
As it was such a lovely day we took our drinks and menu into the garden. We chatted and chatted! By the time we hesitated to draw breath and look at the menu it was gone 1 o'clock! We had such a lovely time and my friend dropped me off home again at about 3.30p.m.! We had had a most enjoyable lunch and catch up and have promised ourselves we will do it again once I am well enough after surgery. Spent the evening resting in front of the TV, tired but it was so worth it - I had such a wonderful day!
Friday 2nd June 2017 - Quite an uneventful day - my car was collected for Service and not due back til Monday so spent the day at home with Sam helping me to do one or two chores so Reno doesn't have to do them at the weekend! Also spent some time looking after my nails. The chemotherapy has, over the time, affected them quite badly - they appear quite brown and are ridged and the lighter piece of nail above the cuticles is spreading up the nail. Some look like I may even lose them altogether - small price to pay given that the chemotherapy has done it's stuff!! Have bought some O.P.I. treatments so we'll see if they help.
Saturday 3rd June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning! Woke at 4.30a.m. then when back off to sleep at around 6.45 a.m. and woke again at 9a.m.! so made myself a cuppa and some breakfast and took it back to bed! Reno arrived home at around 11 and I was still there! Well sometimes you just have to do it don't you?!? Eventually showered and dressed etc. and was up and about in time for lunch! After lunch did the weekly shop with Reno although as usual this finished me off again and by the time I got home another nap was required! Spent a very lazy evening in front of the TV again!
Sunday 4th June 2017 - Decided to go to church today as I am hoping to go to visit the Cambridge Ruskin University next Saturday with Reno and Sam so I know that next Sunday I will need to rest for the bulk of the day. After lunch Reno and I took a walk along the waterfront in Ipswich (just to keep my legs working) as it was such a lovely afternoon. I cooked the evening meal - I feel more like the wife and mother I should be when I cook the meal - it still somehow doesn't feel right when I have to give in and let others do it! Before I knew it, it was time for Reno to leave to go to his lorry in Felixstowe ready for an early start tomorrow. Why do the weekends go so quickly?!? Spent the evening watching the concert put on by Ariana Grande and many other stars for the people of Manchester after the terrible bombing at her concert two weeks ago. It was fantastic - joyful, though at times, very emotional - it really made me think - I have been through a lot lately but compared to the people who lost a child, well it really doesn't compare does it - I have so much to be thankful for.
Monday 5th June 2017 - Feeling so much better this week - improving daily and feeling more like my old self - eating the same as everyone else (I would like my taste to improve still - it seems to have been ages since food tastes as I would expect - as I have said before - it's no so bad that I can't eat most things - just very distorted - few foods taste as you would expect them to - but at least I can eat which is different to a few weeks ago when everything I put in my mouth seemed to burn - so once again I am thankful for that!) and generally feeling quite well. Spending another day at home today as the boiler has to be serviced and my car is being returned. Managed to put the hoover round and sort my wardrobe today - with some help from Sam of course! Intend to spend the evening paying some more attention to my nails and yes you have guessed it...........with my feet up in front of the TV. Less than two weeks now until my surgery, so important that I am fit and well for that!
As it was such a lovely day we took our drinks and menu into the garden. We chatted and chatted! By the time we hesitated to draw breath and look at the menu it was gone 1 o'clock! We had such a lovely time and my friend dropped me off home again at about 3.30p.m.! We had had a most enjoyable lunch and catch up and have promised ourselves we will do it again once I am well enough after surgery. Spent the evening resting in front of the TV, tired but it was so worth it - I had such a wonderful day!
Friday 2nd June 2017 - Quite an uneventful day - my car was collected for Service and not due back til Monday so spent the day at home with Sam helping me to do one or two chores so Reno doesn't have to do them at the weekend! Also spent some time looking after my nails. The chemotherapy has, over the time, affected them quite badly - they appear quite brown and are ridged and the lighter piece of nail above the cuticles is spreading up the nail. Some look like I may even lose them altogether - small price to pay given that the chemotherapy has done it's stuff!! Have bought some O.P.I. treatments so we'll see if they help.
Saturday 3rd June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning! Woke at 4.30a.m. then when back off to sleep at around 6.45 a.m. and woke again at 9a.m.! so made myself a cuppa and some breakfast and took it back to bed! Reno arrived home at around 11 and I was still there! Well sometimes you just have to do it don't you?!? Eventually showered and dressed etc. and was up and about in time for lunch! After lunch did the weekly shop with Reno although as usual this finished me off again and by the time I got home another nap was required! Spent a very lazy evening in front of the TV again!
Sunday 4th June 2017 - Decided to go to church today as I am hoping to go to visit the Cambridge Ruskin University next Saturday with Reno and Sam so I know that next Sunday I will need to rest for the bulk of the day. After lunch Reno and I took a walk along the waterfront in Ipswich (just to keep my legs working) as it was such a lovely afternoon. I cooked the evening meal - I feel more like the wife and mother I should be when I cook the meal - it still somehow doesn't feel right when I have to give in and let others do it! Before I knew it, it was time for Reno to leave to go to his lorry in Felixstowe ready for an early start tomorrow. Why do the weekends go so quickly?!? Spent the evening watching the concert put on by Ariana Grande and many other stars for the people of Manchester after the terrible bombing at her concert two weeks ago. It was fantastic - joyful, though at times, very emotional - it really made me think - I have been through a lot lately but compared to the people who lost a child, well it really doesn't compare does it - I have so much to be thankful for.
Monday 5th June 2017 - Feeling so much better this week - improving daily and feeling more like my old self - eating the same as everyone else (I would like my taste to improve still - it seems to have been ages since food tastes as I would expect - as I have said before - it's no so bad that I can't eat most things - just very distorted - few foods taste as you would expect them to - but at least I can eat which is different to a few weeks ago when everything I put in my mouth seemed to burn - so once again I am thankful for that!) and generally feeling quite well. Spending another day at home today as the boiler has to be serviced and my car is being returned. Managed to put the hoover round and sort my wardrobe today - with some help from Sam of course! Intend to spend the evening paying some more attention to my nails and yes you have guessed it...........with my feet up in front of the TV. Less than two weeks now until my surgery, so important that I am fit and well for that!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)