Ring That Bell!

Thursday 14th September - Tuesday 19th September

I AM DONE! Yesterday (Monday 18th Sept) I had my final dose of radiotherapy! Apart from friends coming over to our house for dinner on Sunday 17th, the past few days since my last blog don't seem to have any significance - only yesterday - my final radiotherapy treatment. It meant the start of a new chapter in my recovery, a chapter where, apart from my Herceptin every 3 weeks, I don't have to have any further treatment - all I have to do is concentrate on getting really well and getting through any of the 'left over' side effects of the chemo and of course the radiotherapy.
I must just mention that on Friday 15th I attended the Lymphoedema Clinic - all is well! I have no excess swelling or fluid in my left arm after the lymph nodes being taken from my left armpit. I have another check up in November. Also on Saturday I managed to go to Essex University open day - Reno and Sam had been earlier in the year when I wasn't so well, so we decided to go and have another look to give me a taste of the University that Sam hopes to get a place in - I approve!!!!
Back to Monday! - after my final treatment I had a review appointment where I was given a copy of my treatment plan and some information regarding side effects which can reach a peak 7-10 days after the last treatment. I have another appointment on 7th November by which time any side effects will have passed and the clinic will just make sure that I have no worries about anything and that any side effects have passed and healed. I was asked if I had any questions but I only had one - "Please can I ring the bell now?" "Of course! It's a must!" was the answer!
In the reception of the radiotherapy department there is a large brass bell fixed to a plaque on the wall - the bell was donated by a Karl & Shirl Barber and customers of The Railway Inn, Aldeburgh - on the side of the plaque is the following rhyme by Irve Le Moyne:-

Ring this bell

Three times well

Its toll to clearly say

My treatments done

This course is run

And I am on my way

Each radiotherapy patient gets to ring the bell after their last treatment and everyone around applauds! So I made my way into reception and.............I rang that bell! and the applause followed, I felt quite emotional as I left the department and made my way to the car.

 

So I guess that now my journey is almost done, I feel relieved, uncertain, happy, tired, elated, a bit insecure.................yes a whole range of emotions - it's been a tough year and I know I still have some recovery time to go as well as regular check up appointments. I am so grateful for all the doctors, nurses, radiotherapists, and surgeons who have made me well - they are all my heroes.  I am grateful and want to thank all my family and friends who have been on this journey with me, whose support has been so much appreciated, especially my sisters Anita and June - there have been times that I simply would not have got through if it wasn't for them and at times I wasn't the best of patients to look after - they will know what I mean! Of course words cannot express my love for Reno and Sam they are my world and my fight was for them above all. They have had so much to put up with but they have taken it all in their stride keeping me focused throughout.

 

I hope this blog may help others who find themselves in a similar situation to me.

 

So during the past 8 months 20days after diagnosis of breast cancer:-

 

I accepted it    -    I fought it with every bit of strength I had    -    and    -    I BEAT IT!!!!!

 

 

 



Almost there!

Thursday 7th September - Wednesday 13th September 2017

Today, Wednesday 13th September, I have had my 12th dose of radiotherapy - only 3 more to go and I will be done. Hoorah!!!! Having the radiotherapy has been fine but  my skin is now beginning to feel slightly tender and has a pink tinge to it! A bit like slight sunburn really. I am continuing to moisturise although I am told that if the skin starts to break down then I should stop until it heals. Apparently the worst of the side effects tends to be approx. 7-10 days after the treatment is finished - that is if it is going to get any worse! Tiredness still affects me quite badly - sometimes I feel so tired I could just cry! - but I am not going to let that happen as I think that would make me feel quite low in myself and at this stage I really should be on a high that my treatment is almost done! The good thing is that I am sleeping very well at night!
Tomorrow I am going to have some complimentary reflexology at the Macmillan Information Centre which I am very much looking forward to. Time to totally relax!! On Friday I have an appointment at the Lymphoedema clinic to help with the restriction I feel in my armpit since having a couple of lymph nodes removed when I had surgery.
So the past week has passed quite quickly including a lovely weekend when we spent some time with Reno's brother and sister in law - shame about the shower of rain but it certainly didn't dampen our day!

Oh so Tired!

Wednesday 30th August - Wednesday 6th September
Today (Wednesday 6th Sept) I had radiotherapy treatment number 7 so tomorrow I will be over half way to the treatment being finished. The past few days I have been so tired it's hard to describe! I thought that this would happen nearer the end of the treatment but apparently it can happen at any time - everyone reacts differently. I have also felt very emotional and a bit tearful but again that is, I am told, perfectly normal. Unfortunately I have also hurt my left shoulder (believe it or not, just by tying an apron behind my back!) so lying in the position which I am required to for my treatment is not easy and quite painful - my saving grace is the fact that I only have to lie still for approx. 10 mins! It feels longer than that but I try and pass the time by either singing along to the music which plays (not out loud obviously! - that would be too much for anyone to take!!!!) or by reciting nursery rhymes! Not sure where that idea came from but it works anyway!! I saw my oncologist today who has prescribed some extra strong pain relief tablets to help me get through my radiotherapy and also I have been to see a physiotherapist today to try and get some help with my shoulder as suggested by one of the nurses in the department.
The area that the radiotherapy is treating, is at the moment still looking good - the skin is still a good colour (not going red yet) and I am using a moisturiser daily as recommended. I get some 'pricking' sensations in that area but I am told that this is quite normal and is just my body repairing internally and the nerves trying to repair - bearing in mind that at the same time the radiotherapy is destroying cells that are also having to regenerate. In other words as I keep being told - there is still an awful lot going on!!! So its little wonder that sometimes I am just too tired to think let alone actually do anything! I am concentrating all my efforts on getting the radiotherapy done so that I can 'tick off' another milestone of my journey.
My last finger nail has finally come off so now we just await the toenails!
In the last week I have booked some complementary therapy (foot massage) and a place on a health and well being day as well as a place on a HOPE course in October. These things are all offered by the Cancer Information Centre at the hospital free of charge to help with coping after treatment has finished, returning to work etc. and how to look after new nails and hair, how to manage tiredness and emotions etc. Once I have attended each event and therapy I will include in my blog what they were all about and how they have helped. Should be interesting I think, and will hopefully get me meeting more people who have been affected by Cancer and sharing our experiences. I hope also that it will get me a bit more prepared for returning to work eventually!
All in all I am fine, and life is getting easier than when I was having chemotherapy so for that I am always grateful. This journey has been and is quite incredible!

Lovely Stay in Norfolk!

Tuesday 22nd August - Tuesday 29th August 2017
What a great few days we had in Norfolk! The weather was beautiful! We had the most relaxing time, and spent some of it on my uncles yacht taking in the scenery of the broads - wonderful! We spent the late afternoons and evenings reading or chatting over a glass of wine - perfect!! On the way home on Saturday 26th I took Sam to see the house where my Grandma and Grandad used to live and then we went onto the church where they are both buried. It was lovely spending a bit of time thinking back to my childhood and holidays at their house!
Sunday 27th was a good day - Reno's brother and his wife came over for dinner and a catch up! It was lovely to see them as it had been a while!
Monday was a busy day converting the smallest bedroom into a study!
Tuesday 29th August - 1st radiotherapy treatment day of 15! Woke this morning feeling very apprehensive about my first treatment. Reno came with me and once in the radiotherapy department I changed into the gown I had been given, we were called through to a consultation room where a member of the radiotherapy team went through everything with us - what to expect whilst actually being in the treatment room, what side effects may or may not (hopefully!) occur - and I was given a list of my next 14 appointment times - 9.30 am each morning! After asking if we had any questions we were once again asked to wait in the waiting room for about 10 minutes. I could feel my nerves building as I was called through to the treatment room, but, as usual, I needn't have worried because both members of the radiotherapy team who would be treating me were so kind and reassuring. First of all I laid on the 'table' and the mould that had been made when I had my CT scan was placed under my shoulders and head. Gently they helped me get into the exact position of the mould and then several measurements were checked using a laser beam, my tattooed dots and pen marks that they were adding in today!! After about 10 mins everything was set and I was asked to keep very still, the team would be leaving the room, a few more checks would be completed remotely and then the radiotherapy would be given. First of all I thought I might count to make the time pass quickly but that became boring so I then focused on a spot on the ceiling which I thought may be a money spider!! When the spot didn't move I decided to try and work out what the music was that was playing in the background!! But I was interrupted - the team were back in the room with me and it was all done and I hadn't even realised!! Not sure why but I expected to feel something.......................I didn't feel anything at all! I thanked the team saying I would see them tomorrow and went off to change ready to go home!
I am thankful that the treatment has now started because I can now put the first day of the treatment behind me and focus on the last day!
I spent the rest of today doing light chores at home before putting my feet up this evening in front of the TV!!
A quick update on my nails - I have now lost all but one of my finger nails so I can now concentrate on paying attention to the very short new ones so that they will hopefully grow healthily. However, as I guessed, my toe nails now look like they too are damaged and will also eventually come off!! Already know that this won't be as bad as losing the fingernails because I can cover them with socks put them in a shoe and hey presto! out of sight, out of mind!!...........Well that's the plan anyway!

The past week and a bit!!

Friday 11th August - Monday 21st August
The past 10 days have been once again reasonably quiet, but I did have my heart scan on Friday 11th August. I admit to feeling a little concerned about what the results would say as I have been slightly more breathless lately and when I lie down at night my chest often feels quite tight. But , anyway, the scan procedure all happened as it should and the nurse who did the scan said she would ensure the results would be with the oncology department on Monday 14th in the morning so that they could decide whether they would give the Herceptin or not.
After a fairly quiet weekend I went to have my dose of Herceptin on 14th. I had been waiting all morning for the phone to ring and for the person on the other end to say that my heart scan results had deteriorated since my previous scan and they would be unable to give me Herceptin but that hadn't happened thankfully! I was even more surprised when just before my Herceptin injection the nurse told me my heart scan results had actually improved since the last one! The reading had gone up from 55% to 61%. Hurrah!! I needn't have been concerned at all. The injection this time was quite painful and I was glad when it was over! The following morning my leg felt like I had badly pulled a muscle which caused me to limp! This only lasted a couple of days then it was fine.
On Tuesday 15th I was bitten by some kind of insect on my left arm whilst walking in the woods. I knew that I had to be careful of punctures to the skin on that arm due to a couple of lymph nodes being removed, but although the area went red to the size of about a 50p piece, and slightly warm I wasn't unduly worried as I already had an appointment for the next day, to see the doctor about extending my sick certificate.
On Wednesday 16th I went to the doctor who has given me a sick certificate until November 16th, whilst there I mentioned the bite and he gave me an antibiotic cream and told me to draw round the redness with a pen and to come back the following day if the area had got any bigger as I would need to be seen by the hospital! Fortunately the cream did the trick, the area did not increase in size and after a couple of days the bite mark had completely disappeared!
On Thursday 17th Sam and I went to the school to collect her AS Level exam results........ I am so proud of her as despite the year she has had, she has passed in all 3 of her subjects! Well Done Sam!
On Saturday 19th Reno Sam and I went to Beccles to visit some relatives who surprised us with a boat ride from Beccles to Geldeston...........inspite of a heavy shower we really did have a lovely afternoon followed by a meal at Prezzos!
Today, Monday 21st August, has been spent at home with Sam and I getting ready for a few days break in Norfolk staying with my Uncle and his partner. We are going tomorrow morning and coming back on Saturday 26th. Unfortunately Reno has to work but I expect he will enjoy the peace and quiet!!! It will be so nice to have a change of scenery and some 'chilled out' time before my radiotherapy starts on Tuesday 29th August.

The past 10 days

Tuesday 1st August - Thursday 10th August
Quite an uneventful few days as I had no appointments until Tuesday 8th August!
Tried to have as near to 'normal' time over the past few days, doing the things that Sam and I would usually have done during school holidays. It's been a bit strange because Reno has now changed to a night shift and sleeps until lunchtime. On Wednesday 2nd we called to see my manager at work to let him know how my treatment was going and also to say that it looks unlikely that I will be back to work before October. Then Sam and I did a bit of shopping followed by a lovely lunch at Notcutts!
On Thursday 3rd Sam had her driving test and I am pleased to say she passed! So now, although I can drive again, it's rather nice to be chauffeured around by Sam!! During the afternoon we went to the Suffolk Food Hall where I had arranged to meet a friend, (who I had not seen for around 35 years!) for tea and cake. It was lovely to catch up on what we had been doing on life's journey over the years.
On Saturday 5th we had Reno's brother and sister in law visit for a couple of hours, which was lovely and on Sunday we all got up early so that Sam could go on a beach hack from the equestrian centre at Hollesley through the countryside to Shingle Street along the beach and back again. Reno and I enjoyed the walk and watching Sam - the weather was perfect and we finished the morning off with a cream tea for lunch at Wyevale!!!
In myself I have been feeling very well although I still get some aches and pains from the area of my operation - the healing process internally, apparently, will take some time. I have now lost 5 fingernails in total and the other 5 look likely to follow suit quite soon - it will actually be a relief once they are all off as it is so easy to catch them whilst dressing etc. I feel like I should have shares in Elastoplast with the amount I am using!!! I have learnt though that using disposable gloves to do just about anything is quite useful! The tingling and numbness in my fingers and feet continues as does the sensation of feeling icy cold at times but I know this could last for a while yet!
On Tuesday 8th August I went for my CT scan in preparation for my radiotherapy treatment. The nurse called me through and we spoke for quite some time about the treatment, what exactly was going to happen and she asked me about my concerns. She also explained about the three 'dot markers' that would be tattooed either side of my rib cage and one in-between my breasts that would be permanent but tiny, so that the treatment would always be lined up and targeting the right area.
As I previously thought, tiredness is very common and the ribs can be weakened by the treatment so I just have to be aware of that in case I should fall on that side in the future! It is also essential to take care of the skin around the area the treatment will be given, by using aqueous cream and avoiding anything like deodorants that can irritate what may be already aggravated skin. My concerns for any affect on my heart were reassured as it was explained to me that once my Heart Scan is done on Friday 11th August the whole team will discuss the results along with the CT scan results and weigh up the risks against the benefits of the radiotherapy - should they feel that the risk on my heart is too great then the radiotherapy would be cancelled. I was assured that as I had already had chemotherapy and surgery and I have already had some of the doses of Herceptin, the recommended radiotherapy treatment would only be given if the benefits outweighed any risk.
We then went through to the scanner. It was very difficult and quite painful for me to put my left arm in the position that was required for the scan, however, because the radiographers need you to be comfortable they have all sorts of equipment and ways to get around any problems with restricted movement! They put a special pillow under my shoulders neck and head, asked me to raise my arms and put my hands on my head in a way that was comfortable to me and then extracted the air from the pillow which is now my 'mould' to use for the duration of my treatment. The actual scan then only took about 3-4 minutes. Once the scan was done the 'dot' tattoos were done - all I will say is those dots are the only time I will be tattooed! How people even endure an initial beats me and as for their whole arm or any other body part!.........I don't even want to think about it!!!! The garment I wore for the scan was then given to me to wear for each treatment and I was told that my first of the 15 treatments is scheduled for 29th August which means the final one will be 18th September.
Now I know the dates I can get myself focused for the next leg of this journey I have been on!!
Wednesday and Thursday have been 'just another day' pottering around!

No more wound checks!

Monday 24th July - Monday 31st July 2017
On Monday 24th I had another dose of Herceptin. Apparently I was supposed to have another heart scan first, but the nurse was straight onto it and the scan has now been arranged for Friday 11th August. The Herceptin injection was a real stinger this time but I think it has a lot to do with the speed at which it is put into my thigh! We then had a fairly quiet few days making sure I kept up with the daily walk and breast care exercises I was given - these are still a bit of a struggle but more because of my restricted veins than any discomfort from the operation. On Friday 28th I had another appointment at the breast clinic for the nurse to check how my wound has been doing since my last visit a week ago. Great news .........the wound needs no further checks and I am now ready to have the preparation C.T. scan for the radiotherapy! (The scan has been arranged for Tuesday 8th August!) The nurse has suggested that I use Bio Oil on and around the scar to get the skin in good condition and to aid the fading of the scar. Also I have been told that I can drive again, so long as I feel comfortable, which is great news! The nurse said it always helps you feel better if you can 'get your life back close to how it was before the cancer', and as I drove to Tesco, I felt so much better that this was one more thing that I didn't have to rely on someone else for. My only apprehension was applying and taking off the handbrake, but I needn't have been concerned - it was just fine!
We had a great weekend celebrating our wedding anniversary at the Miller and Carter Restaurant on Saturday evening and enjoying a cruise on the Orwell Lady, up the Orwell and just into Harwich harbour, whilst being served with a gorgeous buffet lunch on our way, to celebrate Reno's birthday. Even the weather held out for us which made the 4 hour round trip a real pleasure!
Today, Monday 31st, has been spent pottering about doing one or two household chores and smiling in the knowledge that I have a week that is appointment free!!!!

Last week

Tuesday 18th July 2017 - Sunday 23rd July 2017
Quite a busy week this week, after attending the breast wound check clinic on Monday it was decided that I needed to attend clinic again on Wednesday 19th and Friday 21st - (tried to rent a room but they weren't having any of it!) My wound, as I said previously, is just being really slow and there is some redness around the wound which apparently is the skin reacting to the implant but this in time should settle. By Wednesday 19th it was decided that dressings were no longer needed, just some gauze for protection and by Friday 21st (I finished the antibiotics Thursday 20th) the wound was looking good and the redness slightly reduced so the nurses and surgeon are happy that I need not see them again until Friday 28th - hoorah! I don't really mind going to the hospital really, but the three visits this week have meant 12 bus journeys and with the wait in clinic each visit has taken up a good half of the day.
I feel much more comfortable about how it's all going now, I guess in the 4 weeks since my surgery I have now got used to seeing myself with the scar and have got used to the how the breast feels in general - it may seem a strange thing to say but I am now confident to tell people I have had a mastectomy, and the implant, for a while, has felt really heavy, though apparently it is approx. the same weight as the tissue that was removed! My arm movement is still a little restricted but I am working on the exercises and using the heat pad to help my veins loosen up a little! They are so tight and hard they feel like guitar strings in my arm!
Next week I have two appointments so far, Monday 24th I have to go to the oncology dept. for my Herceptin injection and Friday 28th to the breast clinic for a wound check - hopefully at this appointment I will be told that I can go ahead and get started on the radiotherapy program! (Don't worry I am not holding my breath just in case!!!)
Looking forward to next weekend when Reno and I will have been married for 29 years! and its Renos birthday so celebrations all round!!

The past week

Monday 10.07.17 - Monday 17.07.17
Until my radiotherapy starts I guess there may not be much to tell my blog readers so my post will cover the week with an overview of what's been happening.
I had to attend the breast clinic on Monday 10th as there are a couple of places along my scar line that are not keen to heal! The nurse has now redressed the two areas and my surgeon has put me on a ten day course of antibiotics just as a precaution. The wound was rechecked and redressed on Thursday 13th, it hadn't got any worse but the nurse wants to see me again today (17th) just to keep an eye on things. The surgeon has suggested that it will be 10-14 days before the skin is in good enough condition for the radiotherapy process to begin. So I am hoping that the radiotherapy will start around the middle of August - I have to take into account that I have a CT Scan first and radiotherapy starts approx. 2 weeks after the scan.
The week has also been quite an emotional one for me, again I was unable to explain why but I felt close to tears a lot of the time. The nurse explained to me that this is very common and then continued to tell me why........ During the 6 months of my chemotherapy I was determined to be strong both for me and for those around me, I was positive and focused on each treatment, setting goals for myself so that the time marched on from appointment to appointment - even when I was very ill in hospital my determination didn't dwindle and once well again I forgot about how ill I had been and continued to think ahead to the treatments which were killing the cancer and ultimately making me well again. Once the chemo was finished my focus was my surgery and then the surgery results. Now I have the results and I know I am clear of the cancer it's like the guard on my emotions has dropped and I can now relax more which, in turn, has caused the emotion to finally show.
I had to admit to the nurse that her explanation does make sense and instead of thinking I am being a bit silly when I get emotional I will not be so hard on myself!
I am still having to wear some plasters over some of my finger nails! - Progress report - 2 nails have come off, 4 nails are very close to coming off (hence the plasters so I don't catch them!) and the other 4 nails have all discoloured so I know they will be lifting shortly! My hair is slowly growing and appears much darker than it was before - won't need a hairdresser just yet though!!! My eyebrows and lashes are making good progress too! Not quite long enough to flutter! but it's all going on!!!
Another appointment arrived in the post this week and I was thrilled to see it is to see my oncologist.......but....not until 5th October. Hurrah - I must be well if he doesn't want to see me for almost 3 months! Such a good sign!!!!!
Sam and I have a real treat today thanks to a lovely gift from Reno! After my appointment at the breast clinic we are  going for afternoon tea at Patisserie Valerie! We thought this would be a good time to use the voucher - after an hospital appointment - we must be sure to take some photos of our tea so that Reno can see all that we are going to enjoy!!!!

Results Day!

Tuesday 4th - Thursday 6th July 2017
Fairly uneventful couple of days. Attended the Breast Clinic on Wednesday for a wound check as mine seems to be taking its time to heal over in a couple of places! Then went on to a physiotherapy class (6 of us altogether) where a physiotherapist just went over the exercises we all should be doing and to check that we were all making good progress (I can almost get my arm straight up above my head!) Then one of the volunteers from the Macmillan Centre came in to talk to us about all the different therapies and classes which are available to us. Really interesting to hear what is on offer including reflexology, massage, nail care and makeup classes, exercise classes and many more!

Friday 7th July 2017 - Results Day!
Woke up feeling quite anxious about today I would like to think that I was ready to hear anything good or bad and that I would deal with it, but deep down I knew that if the cancer had spread I would struggle to cope. Reno had the day off to come with me, Sam went to school, but I know that she was really worried.
My appointment was at 10.15a.m. and we arrived at the oncology department in good time. I never mind how long I have to wait because I know just how important it is for the oncologists and nurses to have time for each patients questions and concerns. We were called through to the consultation room at 10.45a.m. and there we waited for a while until a breast care nurse came into the room to tell us that my oncologist was still with someone but she would give us the results and then he would come through just as soon as he was free. This was it - I almost felt I couldn't breathe these results meant so much to us all - the nurse started by saying to me that it was good news! Considering that I had had an aggressive cancer my recovery was excellent. No cancer was found in my lymph nodes and the breast tissue had all been removed. We were thrilled of course, and my tears started to flow, I was so relieved that finally I could move on and would not have to face anymore chemotherapy - the one thing that I was dreading so much. The nurse left us and I found myself thanking Reno so much for all that he had put up with during the last 6 months. We text Sam so that she would worry no more and she replied "So proud of you mum - I love you" those words said it all. After a short while my oncologist came into the room also with a smile on his face as he knew that we had already received the good news. He explained that it would be a wise choice to go with radiotherapy just to be absolutely sure. This would be treatment everyday for 3 weeks (except Saturday and Sunday) but treatment only lasts 1 or 2 minutes! A doddle compared to chemo! He also explained that as Herceptin had already had an adverse affect on my heart they would continue to monitor this by scan and should the time come that they needed to stop the Herceptin before the full 17 doses were completed then some doses were far better than none, but they would not put my heart at any unnecessary risk. I asked about my numb fingers and feet, and he explained that this is all due to the chemotherapy although it has now stopped being given, and I could expect these symptoms to gradually go after 6 months to a year. At least I know things will slowly improve over time!
The oncologist then introduced us to a member of the radiotherapy team who explained more about what happens with radiotherapy and then took us to the department to show us around. Once again the staff there were lovely and made me feel really at ease. Once my wound has healed and the breast clinic are happy with the scar I then have to contact the radiotherapy team who will start the process to get my treatment started. Hopefully by the end of the summer all my treatment will be complete (except Herceptin) and we can all start to relax a bit more and move forward - maybe even plan a few days away!!!
Today turned out to be a really good positive day - the best in a long time - I am so thankful to everyone who has helped me over the past six months - I haven't always been the best patient - I know I have been hard to please at times - and I know that I still have a way to go, but without my husband, daughter, sisters, family and friends I could not have done this - I needed and am thankful for the encouragement everyone gave me and the support when the going got really tough - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH - WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH XXXXXX.

Saturday 8th - Sunday 9th July 2017
Restful weekend celebrating the good news! I even had a couple of glasses of wine Saturday evening (something I haven't done in ages!) whilst having a meal out with Sam and Reno - I think possibly even my taste may be improving - or was that just the wine!!!!!

Clinic and Treatment

Saturday 1st July - Sunday 2nd July 2017
Had a quiet weekend - did the usual grocery shopping and sleeping! Sunday - went to church in the morning - rested and slept a while during the afternoon then enjoyed a quiet evening with Sam & Reno in front of the TV!

Monday 3rd July 2017
Had an appointment today at 9.15 a.m. in the breast clinic for a wound check and clean-up. The clinic was really busy and so I wasn't called through until around 10.30! This was the first appointment I had been to on my own since my treatment began! Decided it was about time I attended on my own instead of troubling anyone to be with me! However, it turned out that for some reason I was to have a very weepy day! My nurse (Alyson) called me in, asked me how I was and Bingo! tears started to fall, I felt really silly but Alyson assured me that this was perfectly normal and I was bound to be feeling a bit anxious with my results day (Friday 7th) drawing close. Anyway my surgeon was soon with us and he explained that I still have some fragile skin on the operation site and also some swelling which he seemed to think should have reduced by now, but it has only been 12 days since my surgery and I do still have a fair amount of bruising. He was happy for the remainder of the small dressings to be removed and said he would see me again on Friday unless I was overly concerned before then and I could ring the clinic to be seen on Wednesday. Once he had left the room Alyson then asked me how high I could raise my left arm - I thought I was doing quite well with my exercises but once my arm is raised so far I feel pain in my armpit and it feels like something is going to snap! Alyson explained that this is to do with the lymph nodes having some removed and that I need to massage where the pain is in order to raise my arm further - if not I would never be able to raise my left arm as high as I can raise the right arm! She suggested that I increased the number of painkillers I am taking to help me cope with the pain and discomfort whilst exercising. We then had a chat about how I was feeling and she explained once again that although I have been doing really well these last six months, I still have a long way to go on my road to recovery and I should not be disillusioned when I get days when I feel down or tearful. She once again assured me that this was all very 'normal'.
After being seen in clinic I then had to go to oncology for my dose of Herceptin. Once there and settled in one of the big comfy chairs Helen, who would be looking after me, came over and asked how I was Bingo! here we go again more tears. I really did need to pull myself together! We had a chat and Helen told me exactly what would happen with the injection but decided to wait for a few minutes before going ahead as I had a text from Sam saying that she was on her way to be with me as she didn't like the thought of me being on my own! Bless her! Once Sam arrived we moved into a side room for the injection which lasted around 5 minutes and was put into my thigh - there was a stinging sensation at first but then we were chatting and I really didn't feel it any more! I then moved back out to the bay in my comfy chair where Helen said they would monitor me for a while before I would be allowed home. Here I made my apologies to Sam whose hand had been squeezed extremely hard when the injection first began!!! (I had actually left finger marks on her!!) My niece arrived to take us home and once we were home and had lunch .......you guessed it......I had a sleep.
On reflection I had had a bit of a funny day but I persuaded myself that it was probably due to the fact that I am apprehensive about Friday - it's going to be a big day but hopefully it will be a positive one so that I can once again move forward with confidence and just get on with my recovery!!
Tomorrow is another day and I am determined it will be a restful but good one!

Freedom!!!

Friday 30th June 2017
Went to the clinic today for a wound and drain check. My Surgeon was very pleased with how the wound looks and I was thrilled when he asked the breast care nurse specialist to remove the drain and only replace minimal dressings where required. Hoorah!!! I can now move my arm however I like, so long as I don't feel any pain and I feel so free!! No more bag containing drain to hang on the loo door or the chest of drawers handle at night!!! The bag was very pretty but I was happy to be separated from it!!! I thanked the surgeon and nurse for all they had done for me although I will see them again apparently when I see my oncologist on 7th July. Also they want to see me on Monday 3rd just to clean the operation site and hopefully remove the last few small dressings.
So happy!!

Operation & Race for Life

Wednesday 21st June 2017 - continued
After arriving at the admissions unit and being seen by a nurse, a registrar, a doctor, a breast specialist nurse, the surgeon and the anaesthetist I finally went to theatre at around 1.30p.m. and arrived back on the ward after recovery at 6.40p.m. to be greeted by Reno and Sam. I felt well and was not in any pain at all. I have to be very honest, I felt relieved that the operation was over and I was actually thankful that I had survived surgery - this may sound dramatic but that was truly how I felt. I have so much to be thankful for. Reno and Sam were able to stay with me for quite some time before they left and I was settled for the night.

Thursday 22nd June 2017
Didn't have a very good nights sleep on the ward but there was a lot of activity! Two lovely nurses helped me have a wash and get dressed ready to go home. There was Iodine everywhere! Even on my bum which seems a little extreme when the operation was on my breast!!! Anyway I was all ready to be discharged by 11.45 I had a drain attached (actually stitched to my flesh which was great as I had been warned that they can fall out if they are taped in) and was told to attend the breast clinic on Friday 23rd to have my wound and drain checked. It was great to get home again though difficult to accept that I could do very little and needed to be waited on hand and foot! By 9p.m. I felt really tired and had an early night - Reno volunteered to sleep on the sofa (cooler than the spare room!!!) as we were both worried about knocking my wound or affecting the drain in some way, however I had to disturb Reno during the night to help me get out of bed when I needed the bathroom.

Friday 23rd June 2017
Slept fairly well last night and once we had dropped Sam at school Reno and I headed for the hospital for my wound and drain check. All was well and my surgeon confirmed that my stitches are dissolvable and the drain would stay in for approx. 10 days. The antibiotics the ward had given me have to be taken for 7 days. Three further wound and drain check appointments have been made for next Monday Wednesday and Friday. Returned home for a restful afternoon and evening.

Saturday 24th June 2017
My sister came and sat with me this morning as Reno had to take Sam for an early morning appointment at the hospital. I need help with most things at the moment as I am not allowed to move my left arm away from the side of my body. I am allowed to raise the arm (I was told I would be able to comb my hair! ) so long as it stays close to my body and I don't try to move the elbow outwards. I can also slightly shrug my shoulders but nothing else until the drain is removed! Bearing this in mind once Reno and Sam returned we all had a restful day other than Reno who is intent on doing the chores including car cleaning which I could not convince him really was not necessary in the scheme of things!! Bless him! We all went to bed fairly early in preparation to be up early on Sunday ready for the Race For Life.

Sunday 25th June 2017 - Race for Life!
We were all up and about by 7.30a.m. this morning excited for the day ahead! My sister came round at 9.15 a.m. and set up her ipad with whatsapp (and showing me how to use such technology!) so that those taking part and spectating could send me live pictures, videos and messages so I felt part of the event, I could also send them messages of encouragement. Reno's sister came to sit with me so I was not alone and once Sam & Reno had left we waited in anticipation for the first pictures. I felt so emotional as they started to come through and so proud of Sam, Anita, June, Tasha, Kerry and Caron for taking part, I know how much it means to them and to me to raise money for such a worthy cause as breast cancer. We all hope that in the future if cancer is diagnosed then perhaps a tablet to cure or take for a while will replace the chemotherapy that can do so much damage whilst it kills the cancer cells and that future patients will not have to endure such harsh side effects. Sam finished the 5K race in 40 mins and Anita Caron and Tasha all finished within minutes of Sam. June and Kerry walked the 10K course and achieved their goals of finishing in less than two hours. By the time all the sponsor money is in, as a family they will have raised around £3000.00!!! I am immensely proud of them all!
The photos and videos continued to come through and I really felt part of the whole event. At around 1.30p.m. those who had taken part and all those who went along to support them arrived back at ours for a few bites to eat which everyone had contributed to, and a general get together. Everyone was buzzing wearing their medals with pride, they were tired but none of them it seemed wanted to give in to it yet as they were just enjoying the moment. What a great day! Once everyone had left I felt exhausted but I didn't care all I felt was pride at what they had achieved.

Monday 26th June 2017
My sister arrived early this morning to take Sam to school and me to the hospital for a drain and wound check. The hospital were so pleased with how things are going they have cancelled my appointment on Wednesday and will see me as planned on Friday. The rest of the day I rested and as I can do a little bit more for myself I tried not to be to much trouble to anyone!

Tuesday 27th June 2017 - Thursday 29th June 2017
Quite quiet resting days with a trip to the shop to get me some exercise and keep me moving! My sister has altered my bras though! When I was first told about my operation it was suggested that I go to M&S and get fitted for a couple of sports bras with front zip fastening. This is because as soon as the operation is over you have to start wearing a very supportive bra for at least 23 hours a day for 6-8 weeks!! (To wear a bra 23 hours a day when I have not had surgery would be quite a task!) At first, it didn't seem too bad, but as time has gone on the bras seem to have got tighter and tighter especially when I am tired, and they have actually been cutting in under my arms which has felt quite painful where I had lymph nodes removed. However, sister to the rescue! I now have a piece of elastic stitched into the shoulder straps to give me extra space in the arm holes and OMG what a difference that has made!!! I still have the support around my bust but not the tightness under my arms! Hallelujah!!! Call it coincidence or whatever you like but since my bras have been altered I have slept right through the night!
Felt a little low Thursday morning as my finger tips continue to feel numb and tingling and I couldn't undo my blouse buttons! I had a telephone conversation with my breast care nurse and she explained this numbness could go on for some months! A little daunting but now I know what I have to deal with I have pulled myself together and realise I just have to deal with it! After all I have dealt with worse and since surgery I know things will improve and can only get better.
The only way forward is continued positive thinking - so that's the way I will go - Onwards and Upwards!!!!!!

Big Day!

Wednesday 21st June 2017
Sorry its been a week since my last post but I have had today on my mind quite a lot and have been concentrating on keeping fit and well ready for todays operation. My fingers and toes have been crossed hoping the operation will go ahead! I went to the hospital on Monday for a blood test to make sure my bloods were ok for today and also my surgeon ordered 2 units of blood for today just incase after the op my bloods get a bit low. My heart scan didn't show any significant change from the last one so all I need to do now is hope that the anaesthetist is happy with everything and he will agree the operation can go ahead today.
One piece of 'news' - I have started to lose my finger nails! One gone already but a new nail - though paper thin - already underneath! Its really quite interesting as some of the nails are flaking from the cuticle whilst others are gradually lifting from the top! They don't hurt but my finger tips feel tingly - a little awkward for opening things like the shower gel and doing up buttons but I guess it wont go on for too long and the new nails will get stronger.
Well I hope it won't be too long before my next entry but I guess I need to concentrate on my recovery after the operation so bare with me and I will catch up soon!!

Busy few days!

Saturday 10th June 2017 - We all got up early this morning and left at 8.45a.m. to go to Cambridge. We used the park and ride and arrived at the university at around 10.15a.m. It was an interesting though tiring day and it gave Sam an insight to university life. It was 5p.m. by the time we arrived home again  - the tiredness having now got to all of us! I am glad I went but if I am honest it probably was too long a day for me but at least I felt I had helped to support Sam with Reno as she explores where her education will take her once sixth form is finished.
Sunday 11th June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning but made sure I was about by 11.a.m. as Reno had to go into work and Sam was off out for the day. Me?.......I was going to enjoy being on my own with my book the TV and of course the occasional 40winks!! However, after a good start to the day by lunchtime about 12.30, I began to feel a bit hot and slightly under the weather. I took my temperature thinking maybe I ought to keep an eye on it and it was 39.5! I decided it must be the hot weather and put the fan on high and waited for 10 minutes before taking it again .....38.8. As I also felt a bit like I had a cold I decided to ring Somersham Ward and get there advice - I couldn't really see that I should have a problem with my temperature regarding my treatment because I have stopped having the actual drug that can cause high temperature - or so I thought!! The nurse on the end of the phone confirmed that whilst having any sort of treatment in the oncology dept. it should be standard procedure to call Somersham Ward emergency number if my temperature should spike above 37.5! They asked me to report to the ward a.s.a.p. so that they could check me out! I ring my sister to and she said she would be with me in five minutes to take me in case they decided to keep me in. In total we were there  around 6 hours! They gave me intravenous antibiotics and took a blood sample (after 2 attempts including popping a vein which has left me with a wonderful bruise! - not their fault I hasten to add, just my rubbish veins!) and said as soon as the results were back they would let me know and in the meantime we waited in the day room. After 2 hours the results were back and, not too bad! My infection level was up slightly though my blood counts were all ok. However because it could not be determined exactly why my infection level was raised I was told I had to see the doctor before I could leave! He eventually arrived at 6.45 p.m. and once he knew that I was having surgery on Wednesday 14th he decided to give me a course of antibiotics to be on the safe side. The doctor assured me that I could still have my treatment on Monday and nothing should affect my planned operation on Wednesday (thank goodness for that!), though he did ask me to report to the breast clinic on Monday just to let them know what had gone on! I returned home and started to wonder if perhaps I had over done things a bit in Cambridge on Saturday? Once Sam and I had eventually eaten we decided an early night was the best plan ready for my treatment tomorrow!
Monday 12th June 2017 - My sister and I dropped Sam off at school and then continued on to the hospital for my treatment. As we had plenty of time we called in at the breast clinic first to let them know the events of yesterday. After the receptionist took all the details she spoke with Miss Mortimer my surgeon, whose response was "Report to Theatre Admissions as planned on Wednesday" - Great! We then went to oncology and settled ourselves in the allocated bay for my treatment. After a while a nurse came over and apologised for the delay but she had needed to speak with my Dr Ram (my oncologist) because of my heart scan results. This all came as a bit of a shock to me - apparently my heart performance has deteriorated since having Herceptin and I was now close to the limit when Herceptin can still be given! I had so many questions regarding this but unfortunately the nurse could not answer them and said I would have to speak with Dr Ram once my surgery had been done. But she reassured me that treatment today would be fine. After 3 attempts to get a cannula into a 'good as it gets!' vein my treatment began and we were ready to leave by 1.45p.m. I still felt a little daunted about the heart scan but decided it was no good worrying about it until I could get my questions answered by my doctor - so I tried to put it out of my mind for the rest of the day. My other sister called round during the evening just to make sure I was feeling ok about my operation - I was honest with her - I was ok but nervous and just wanted it done with! Roll on Wednesday!!!
Tuesday 13th June 2017 - Had a quite restful day ready for tomorrow - I even felt a weird kind of excitement mixed in with a bag full of nerves and a few feelings of apprehension - not a wonderful recipe but hey - it got me through the day!!! During the evening I packed my overnight bag and then had another early night as I had to make sure I had some breakfast and my last drink (other than water which I can have up til 11a.m.) before 7a.m.
Wednesday 14th June 2017 - Hoorah! Surgery day finally here! Reno and I arrived at the Theatre Admission Dept. at 11a.m. as instructed where my wristband was put on (As if I could be mistaken for anyone else!!! - I am unique!!!) and almost as soon as our bottoms touched the seats in the waiting room we were called through to another room for me to be prepared for theatre apparently at around 1.30p.m.! I felt quite important as one by one different people came in to see me!!! First of all a male nurse, who took my temperature, pulse and blood pressure which of course was a bit high but I had taken my BP recordings in and he was happy that it had been fine earlier in the day! Then my specialist breast care nurse arrived who talked through everything with me from the surgery to the plan for once I was discharged. She was certain that I would be kept on the ward for one night and then discharged the following morning provided all was well. She made me feel a bit more relaxed and assured me that everything would be fine though she would mention once again to Miss Mortimer about my antibiotics as she was unsure whether I should be continuing with them as I would be given antibiotics intravenously during my operation. Next came the physiotherapist who had a booklet for me tailored just for my requirements after surgery. She explained I would do very little for the first 3-4 days but even that 'very little' would help stop my shoulder going stiff and help for when I would be encouraged to do a bit more. I have an appointment to see her on June 28th for a group session of exercise! Next came the registrar to Miss Mortimer and he went over a few things with me and asked a few questions about Sunday. He seemed to think that everything was fine and told me that Miss Mortimer herself would be along to have a chat with me. Once she arrived she didn't seem too happy at all that Dr Ram had allowed me to have Herceptin on Monday - so close to surgery knowing that from the heart scan he could tell that the Herceptin is having an effect on my heart, and also she didn't seem overly pleased that I had reported to Somersham Ward on Sunday even though she had been made aware of this on Monday! Her first reaction was to say that the surgery would have to be postponed probably for 4 weeks! As you can imagine this upset me greatly and after some discussion with me I think she realised that maybe she had been a bit harsh because she then said 'let's get you gowned up and I will do my theatre drawings on you, then I will go and see the anaesthetist and the decision will be his' So this we did and we waited for Miss Mortimer to come back with the anaesthetist. After a short while they both returned and sat down. They explained that they had had a discussion and really did not think it would be wise to go ahead with the surgery today. The anaesthetist was concerned that my surgery was already classed as high risk surgery which is no problem if you are fit, but they explained my whole body has gone through so much in the past few months added to which the issue with what the Herceptin was doing then adding in the fact that I could still have some infection somewhere that I was taking the antibiotics for, it just put the risk factor too high and it was a risk that he was not prepared to take. Obviously I was gutted to say the least but I was thankful they told me they already had a plan and of course I have total respect for them both and knew that they were absolutely right. I am to attend the breast clinic on Monday morning first thing after having a blood test at the path lab. I also have some forms for the path lab to match me 2 units of blood ready for my surgery day which would now be Wednesday 21st June. After approx. an hour Miss Mortimer will have the blood test results and be able to make sure everything ok with them. I would also get an appointment to have my heart checked by ultra sound before surgery. Then I would be admitted on Wednesday 21st as I had been today, same time etc. but I would definitely be staying overnight and if I needed a top up of blood they would have it all ready sorted. Miss Mortimer and the anaesthetist assured me that this was the right thing to do and of course I realised that too - I don't want anyone putting me at any more risk than they have to! They both left knowing that I was happy that I had another date for surgery and after we had had a cup of tea we left too! However, we were almost at the main door out of the hospital when my mobile rang and it was a lady telling me my heart scan was booked for today in 20 minutes! How good is that - so we turned around and headed to the cardiology clinic for the scan!
The scan took about 15 mins and the nurse who did it said the report would go straight to Miss Mortimer so she would have it when I saw her on Monday! As I went out of the room the nurse looked at me and said ' don't worry I am certain it's all fine' and smiled. I found that quite reassuring.
We left the hospital finally at around 2.30p.m. and had some lunch out before going home - where I intend to do nothing but rest up practice my exercises, have a few short walks in the sunshine as Miss Mortimer has suggested, and get myself as fit and well as I can possibly be for Wednesday 21st - I really don't want a repeat of today - I just want to get this next step done. Bring it on!!!!!!

Before I finish I must just tell you that..........my hair has started to grow!! its just peeping through so I cannot determine the colour yet but it's definitely there and can no longer be called 'bum fluff' - it is most definitely hair!!!! It's also started to grow back on my legs too - not quite enough to need shaving but it's a start anyway!!!

Bit of a rant!

Tuesday 06.06.17 & Wednesday 07.06.17
Tuesday and Wednesday were quite uneventful days - pottered about at home and rested quite a lot!
One piece of good news - our daughter passed her driving theory test!! Hooray! Well done Sam!

Thursday 08.06.17
Woke very early this morning and not sure why but I woke in quite a negative mood - maybe it was a dream that I couldn't remember that set me off but to say I felt low was an understatement! In fact I cried and cried which has only happened I think once before and all I can say was I wallowed like a big fat rhino in self pity!!! The following list was all I could think about and the more I thought about it the sadder I got and the more I cried! I didn't want to be hairless anymore, I didn't want my nails to look so skanky - they are very brown, ridged and a layer of nail is now starting to lift on my thumb from the cuticle end - it looks awful, I didn't want to have tingly numb feeling finger tips and toes and soles of my feet anymore, I was worried about surgery and how I would feel once the operation was over. Then there was the wait for the results - would they find any stray cells that had sparked off from the tumour and started to grow elsewhere - would there be any follow up treatment after surgery, what would that be like and how would it affect me, and above all I just wanted something to eat that tasted like it should because very little does!The other thing that was worrying me was I had snapped at Reno & Sam the night before for no apparent reason and I showed no signs of having a sense of humour at all. What exactly is happening to me - I just want to be me - this cancer has changed me in a way I seem to have no control over and I am worried that the person I was will never be seen again. I don't want to be that person I just want to be me, I want to be the wife and mum that I was before all this started and that Reno and Sam deserve - they didn't ask for any of this either and they have had so much to put up with. Then as the rant slowly ended and I started to pull myself together (I didn't want Sam to wake and find me in this mess!) I began to try and turn the negatives around and look for the one positive thing that I have to constantly hold on to - the chemotherapy that is the cause of most of the things above has actually made my tumour disappear! If it can do that then surely stray cells didn't stand a chance either - the tears slowly subsided and once again I came to the conclusion that all of the above are really a small price to pay because I am certain that in about 12 months I will be back to my old self - yes there will be lots of follow up appointments and check ups but that's all good - the future does look bright and I can't wait to say  - Carol what were you worrying about!!
Once up and about I felt much better the low mood had passed and I was looking forward to seeing my friends during the afternoon who were coming to take me for another walk around Needham Lake! When we got there it was sunny though the wind was a little chilly but that didn't spoil the sight of the lake, the goslings, the cygnets and the ducklings - all so very cute. What a lovely way to spend the afternoon again................this morning? Forgotten!!!

Friday 09.06.2017
Bit of a shock to the system this morning as I had to be up by 6.30 to get ready for an appointment at the hospital in the Nuclear Medicine Dept. for a Heart Scan at 8.45 a.m. Sam was coming with me (bigger shock to her system I think!!!) and we were out in the car by 8.15a.m. so all was well. The scan consists of two injections - one given 30 minutes before the other and then after electrodes being placed around the heart the scan commences and today lasted approx. 10 minutes. The second injection puts a radioactive tracer into the vein for the scan to follow. (You are warned to stay away from pregnant ladies and small children for the day!) The injections were slightly painful for a few seconds but only because of the state of my veins! Other than that it is a simple procedure and on leaving I was advised to drink a lot and pee a lot to wash the tracer out of my system!!! Next we went down to oncology to have blood taken to ensure that everything is ok for my treatment on Monday 12.06.17. As this was the last weekday of Sam's 4 week study leave I then decided that we should go out for lunch together by way of a treat for us both! This we did but then returned home extremely tired and had a very chilled afternoon in front of the TV before Sam went off horse riding. Relaxing for the rest of the evening as tomorrow is a big day - we are all going to Cambridge for the Open Day of Anglia Ruskin University so Sam can have a good look around in case she decides that is where she would like to study!

1st weekend of June!

Thursday 1st June 2017 - I have been looking forward to today for at least a week! Woke up after a good nights sleep and got myself ready to be picked up at 11.30a.m. by a friend who I have 'bumped into' but not had the chance to really catch up with for years! The sun is shining and I feel quite well and as I look in the mirror (not a great sight these days!!!!) I realise that the daily walks are paying off - where my skin on my thighs had just hung (sad but true!!) after being in hospital and my muscles had just wasted away, they suddenly look more like they used to! and I can feel that the muscles are building up. Makes me feel better about myself. Once ready I eagerly await my friend who arrived on the dot at 11.30 and we set off for Holbrook Compasses - really lovely country pub.
As it was such a lovely day we took our drinks and menu into the garden. We chatted and chatted! By the time we hesitated to draw breath and look at the menu it was gone 1 o'clock! We had such a lovely time and my friend dropped me off home again at about 3.30p.m.! We had had a most enjoyable lunch and catch up and have promised ourselves we will do it again once I am well enough after surgery. Spent the evening resting in front of the TV, tired but it was so worth it - I had such a wonderful day!
Friday 2nd June 2017 - Quite an uneventful day - my car was collected for Service and not due back til Monday so spent the day at home with Sam helping me to do one or two chores so Reno doesn't have to do them at the weekend! Also spent some time looking after my nails. The chemotherapy has, over the time, affected them quite badly - they appear quite brown and are ridged and the lighter piece of nail above the cuticles is spreading up the nail. Some look like I may even lose them altogether - small price to pay given that the chemotherapy has done it's stuff!! Have bought some O.P.I. treatments so we'll see if they help.
Saturday 3rd June 2017 - Had a lie in this morning! Woke at 4.30a.m. then when back off to sleep at around 6.45 a.m. and woke again at 9a.m.! so made myself a cuppa and some breakfast and took it back to bed! Reno arrived home at around 11 and I was still there! Well sometimes you just have to do it don't you?!? Eventually showered and dressed etc. and was up and about in time for lunch! After lunch did the weekly shop with Reno although as usual this finished me off again and by the time I got home another nap was required! Spent a very lazy evening in front of the TV again!
Sunday 4th June 2017 - Decided to go to church today as I am hoping to go to visit the Cambridge Ruskin University next Saturday with Reno and Sam so I know that next Sunday I will need to rest for the bulk of the day. After lunch Reno and I took a walk along the waterfront in Ipswich (just to keep my legs working) as it was such a lovely afternoon. I cooked the evening meal - I feel more like the wife and mother I should be when I cook the meal - it still somehow doesn't feel right when I have to give in and let others do it! Before I knew it, it was time for Reno to leave to go to his lorry in Felixstowe ready for an early start tomorrow. Why do the weekends go so quickly?!? Spent the evening watching the concert put on by Ariana Grande and many other stars for the people of Manchester after the terrible bombing at her concert two weeks ago. It was fantastic - joyful, though at times, very emotional - it really made me think - I have been through a lot lately but compared to the people who lost a child, well it really doesn't compare does it - I have so much to be thankful for.
Monday 5th June 2017 - Feeling so much better this week - improving daily and feeling more like my old self - eating the same as everyone else (I would like my taste to improve still - it seems to have been ages since food tastes as I would expect - as I have said before - it's no so bad that I can't eat most things - just very distorted - few foods taste as you would expect them to - but at least I can eat which is different to a few weeks ago when everything I put in my mouth seemed to burn - so once again I am thankful for that!) and generally feeling quite well. Spending another day at home today as the boiler has to be serviced and my car is being returned. Managed to put the hoover round and sort my wardrobe today - with some help from Sam of course! Intend to spend the evening paying some more attention to my nails and yes you have guessed it...........with my feet up in front of the TV. Less than two weeks now until my surgery, so important that I am fit and well for that! 

An 'Up & Down' Few Days!

Friday 26th May 2017 - Woke up to a beautiful morning, and really looking forward to my walk around Needham Lake. Rested up most of the morning then had an early lunch ready to be picked up by our friends at about 2p.m. Sam came too and I have to say the lake and all it's surroundings looked absolutely beautiful and the weather was amazing! So, off we set to walk round, I had wondered if it would be too far but I had actually forgotten that it really doesn't take much more than about 30 mins to get round even at a slow pace like mine at the moment! We spotted a family of swans and the cygnets were absolutely gorgeous! The smallest cygnets I think I have seen, they weren't very old at all! We continued round chatting as we went and just generally enjoying the view, weather and good company! I stopped to sit down a couple of times so as not to push myself too much but as we completed the walk I really felt good and suggested we go round again! This time I didn't stop to sit down at all! We still took it slow, but thoroughly enjoyed the walk just the same - and to cool down.........we finished up with an ice cream under a shady tree - what a lovely way to spend an hour or so on a gorgeous summer day! Think I should sleep well tonight!
Saturday 27th May 2017 - Well unfortunately the walk yesterday didn't do much to help me sleep which I was surprised at, and this morning I awoke very tearful and feeling really low. I can't explain why but when Reno rang to say he was on  his way home from Felixstowe I did let him know how I was feeling just to warn him! Every five minutes tears just seem to flow for no reason. Anyway, once up, showered and dressed I seem to get past it and just got on with the day - had a bra fitting appointment at 3p.m. at M & S. The surgeon told me I would need  well fitting sports bras for after my surgery to both support me which would help with the healing and also front fastening because I am not going to have much movement for a while with my left arm. Apparently I have to wear these bras for at least 23 hours a day for a while! The lady who did the fitting was really lovely, it didn't take too long and once finished Reno and I had afternoon tea in the café! It turned out to be a really nice day with an M&S meal for two in the evening (well...... who needs to cook a meal in this heat!!!) and a night in front of the TV!
Sunday 28th May 2017 -  Another poor nights sleep (still taking 1 steroid in the mornings - last one tomorrow - maybe having an effect but not sure really)  decided to go grocery shopping with Reno anyway. Perhaps that wasn't the best of ideas because once home again I was absolutely knackered! Decided to rest and have a short nap during the afternoon as we would all like to take a trip to Felixstowe tomorrow for some fresh air along the sea front. That should blow the cobwebs away and be refreshing!!
Monday 29th May 2017- Bank Holiday today so we have Reno at home for an extra day! Arranged with Reno's brother and sister-in-law for them to pop over for a visit today between 3 & 4 p.m. so we set off for a walk along Felixstowe sea front at around 11a.m. Sam drove us there and back (with her 'L' Plates on of course) and as I sat in the back I was so relaxed that it felt like she had already passed her driving test - we wish!!!!! Anyway we walked along the sea front as planned - the wind was a bit chilly but once out of the wind it was lovely in the warm sunshine. We stopped for a cup of tea before we walked back again and then decided to have a bag of chips in the car for lunch! (I have to say that I really fancied the chips but was apprehensive about how they would taste - well........... for someone who has waited months for chips out of the paper.............they were amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Suitably refreshed we made our way home and I had a power nap before our visitors arrived with a lovely Lemon Drizzle Cake! and some books for me to read! We had a lovely couple of hours chatting mainly about the Race for Life plans we are all making and the money raised so far between the two fund raising pages - well over £1000.00 !!!
Tuesday 30th May 2017 - Awoke again feeling low and tearful. I think resting today would be best - I need to shake this feeling - it's just not like me.
Wednesday 31st May 2017 - Woke this morning and it was daylight! Hoorah! I must have had around 7 hours sleep!! I feel so different! As if 7 hours wasn't enough I had another short nap before I had breakfast! Had to be at the surgery for 11.30a.m. for a blood pressure check to make sure it's behaving itself before my surgery! I have been taking it myself twice daily as was suggested by the nurse in the pre-op dept. and it has been fine so there shouldn't be any problem at all. Sam came with me because I have had a bit of a problem at times with my eyesight - every now and then everything I see splits (just as if a bolt of lightening has gone through it - difficult to explain really) and becomes very distorted which is a little worrying but after about 10-15 mins it rights itself, however if it happens when I am driving and Sam is with me at least she could take over. I suspect it will be something to do with my treatment and I will ask when I have my next treatment on June 12th. All was ok with my blood pressure but apparently even if it wasn't the surgery had been told by letter from the hospital that my surgery would not be delayed, the GP would just need to treat me for the high blood pressure. Have spent the rest of the day chilling - looking forward to tomorrow as I am going out for lunch with a friend. What a life I lead!!!!

Treatment Number 7

Tuesday 23.05.2017 - Today I had treatment number 7 of eight, this should have been another chemo treatment but instead the chemo was left off and I had Herceptin and Pertuzumab which were given intravenously and took around 2 hours. At first the nurse said I was due chemo as well but I politely told her she would have to fight me first! After checking with my oncologist she was happy that she didn't have to fight, the chemo was definitely being omitted! It seems that these two other drugs will both continue now for a year. As my sister and I were ready to leave it was such a relief to hear that no side effects should be felt - how long have I waited for that! With my mouth now slowly getting back to normal I really didn't want it being knocked again, taste is still weird but given time that will come back too! The tiredness I am still feeling is simply down to recovery and lack of sleep at night due to steroids, which I am now decreasing anyway so hopefully my sleep pattern will settle also.
We decided to have a bit of lunch out before going home, so nice to do something just 'normal'!
Had a lovely surprise this evening too, Reno was in Felixstowe for the night so he came home and had dinner with us, he had to go back to Felixstowe later in the evening but it was so nice to have him home for a while.
Wednesday 24.05.2017 - Unfortunately another wakeful night - last looked at the clock at 11.10p.m. then woke at 1.30a.m. and that was my nights sleep done! However I decided to try and not sleep during the day hoping that tonight may be different. I have potted about today trying to continue to build up strength - the hardest thing is to walk upstairs - down is easy but up...... that's really hard! I even drove to Asda this afternoon! Not far at all but I feel I have achieved something today. So tired by 8.30p.m. I really didn't know quite what to do with myself and selfishly I wasn't really the best person when Reno rang........he and Sam really do have a lot to put up with sometimes.........I try not to snap at them but tonight I think they probably both must feel I have been a bit grumpy and unsociable!
Thursday 25.05.2017 - OMG what a night!! The best night's sleep I have had in ages - last looked at the clock at 9.45p.m. woke at 1.45a.m. turned over thinking "oh no here we go again" and the next thing I know it's 5.55a.m. and boy do I feel different this morning. I feel ready for the day ahead and sure I can manage to do a little bit more than yesterday. I still had a lie in and my breakfast in bed before showering etc. and between us Sam and I have managed to get washing done and on the line and another little trip in the car to Asda! Had a lovely phone call from my friends today who have offered to take me to Needham Lake tomorrow for a little walk! There are plenty of seats there all the way round so it really will be good for me to get some exercise and try and build these leg muscles up again. Also today I have had the appointment through for my Heart Scan and for the follow up appointment after my surgery to get the results of the lymph node tests etc. which will confirm whether or not all the cancer cells have been killed off or whether I will need further treatment of radiotherapy. All in all a good day and hopefully it will be another good night!
There is one last thing I would like to write about, please read on even if you decide it's not for you - I appreciate your support.
On Sunday 25th June 2017 my daughter Samantha, my sister Anita, my niece Tasha and my sister-in-law Caron are running the Cancer Research Race for Life 5K, and my sister June and her daughter-in-law Kerry are walking the Race for Life 10K,because of what has been happening to me, they, like me realise that without this research so many people would not be able to put up the fight like me and get well from cancer. More and more people are surviving this terrible illness and more people will in the future because of the incredible work that Cancer Research does. I have learned that nearly everyone you speak to has been affected by cancer either directly or indirectly, it is just as hard for the families around the person with cancer as it is for the person with cancer. All the runners and walkers have joined as a team calling themselves 'Betts Beat It' and my daughter has had T-shirts printed for even the supporters to wear (including hopefully myself if I have recovered enough from surgery) so it really is a big team spirited effort to raise as much money as they possible can. If you feel you can help in any way by sponsoring them, however small, every little helps you can donate by clicking on the links below the first is for the 5K runners and the second for the 10K walkers: https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/carons-fundraising-page-5
https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/junes-fundraising-page-112
You will see that each page looks like it belongs to one person but if you read on you will see the team and a small narrative along with a few photos! The pages are 100% secure and every penny donated will go to Cancer Research UK. Thank you for reading on and if you are able to lend your support - THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF ALL OUR HEARTS.

Excited for surgery!

Monday 22.05.2017
So it's been a good weekend! I haven't manage to sleep too well at night but I have been resting well during the day so it sort of balances out - a good night's sleep will become the norm again soon I am sure. I have spent the weekend trying to increase moving around to build up the strength especially in my legs that are so weak and feeble at the moment it's ridiculous. I look like a 90 year old climbing the stairs and at stair nine I then have to haul myself up the last few steps clinging like mad with both hands to the bannister! I have also managed to help Reno cook a Sunday Roast! I just wanted things to generally be as normal as possible and great news........ I have not had any mouth wash since Friday 19.05.2017 and I am managing to chew food!! I feel this is a big step towards my mouth getting back to normal and not having to mash my food (which I have been doing for about 6 weeks now) feels so good!! Can't say too much for the taste still but that's not too big an issue so long as I can eat that's all that matters - plus I think now that I am chewing again my teeth will feel less sharp - especially if Reno really does give me that bit of wood to gnaw on as he keeps threatening - bless him!!!
Today I have had another appointment with the breast specialist nurse and my surgeon. Surgery is going ahead provided I am well and strong of course, mid June! So much to take on board - all the do's and don'ts, how incapacitated I am going to be after surgery, the risks etc. etc. and what bras I need to buy from Marks and Spencer as I will have to put one on straight after surgery!!! But, the forms are all signed and boy am I ready!!! Bring it on!!! Let's do this!!!
One slightly comical incident today whilst I was at the breast clinic with the surgeon - "Let's get you measured up" she said " come behind the curtain". As I sat on the couch and started to undress the surgeon asked "where did you get those trousers? I really like those" When I said I couldn't remember she quick as a flash was reaching round the back of me looking for the label!! " F&F" she proclaimed "wow that's Tesco - they're great for Tesco's"  I just found it really funny that there she is looking for my trouser label while I am sat there with nothing on my top half waiting for breast measurement for surgery - guess you had to be there!
So all sorted now I am just concentrating on eating well a little more exercise each day to get me stronger along with restful times for my body to continue it's recovery.

I'm Back! Lets catch up!

Thursday 18.05.2017
Hello again to all my blog readers so sorry it's been a while but as Sam blogged I have been in hospital again returning home Monday 15.05.2017 early evening. Unfortunately the chemo got me again and I ended up being taken into hospital by ambulance during the very early hours of Monday 8.05.17. It all started with lower back and pelvic pain which I now know was caused by the chemo attacking my nerves and muscles, the pain grew and grew until it was excruciating and when gas and air didn't help the ambulance crew had to call a paramedic to try and give me morphine intravenously before they would move me on the journey to hospital. Unfortunately the paramedic after trying 5 times to find a vein he could put the morphine in had to give up but gave it straight into my upper arm which works but not quite as quickly. On the way to hospital my temperature was also spiking so they were concerned about my infection levels once again. Rightly so because it turns out I was once again not only in pain but Neutropenic Sepsis inspite of all the measures that had been put in place to prevent it! That Chemo is definitely out to get me!!! Anyway because there was no room on the Oncology Ward I spent the day in a side room to reduce the risk of infection to me on the assessment unit and then moved to the oncology ward late Monday evening. I was sorted once again with a syringe driver administering diamorphine and cocaine mouthwash to try and sort the oral thrush which also returned very quickly along with my skin on my hands peeling like a lizard!! Anyway as always I received the best care I could wish for and am now back home feeling very tired and weak but improving slowly day by day building and gaining strength bit by bit. I feel about 90 but hey I'm here to tell the tale!
On Thursday 11th May I was told I was being taken for an ultra sound scan to see how things were progressing. So let's get to the good news - first I had a mammogram and then the doctor came through to do the ultra sound. I asked the nurse if I would be able to see the screen for myself and she assured me the doctor would talk me through everything. I so wished Reno was with me. So the doctor got started and within a couple of minutes I heard the words "I can no longer see your tumour on the screen" I burst into tears (Why is it that I don't cry when I hear the bad bits of news and yet I am a mess whenever I hear good news?) "Please look in my armpit too" I said because I wanted to be sure that there was nothing new to see there either. The doctor said once the nurse had helped me put myself back together he would talk me through all the images. It was amazing he showed me the images taken on January the 6th which is when they inserted the marker into my tumour and then showed the images from that day and sure enough the tumour is not visible. The doctor explained that of course the images do not show single rogue cancer cells and these will only be seen if they are there under microscopic conditions when I have tissue and lymph nodes removed during surgery.
The main thing is the chemo has obviously been doing it's job and I can almost forgive it for putting me into hospital twice so poorly!
Once back on the ward I called Reno to give him the news and he was of course thrilled as was Sam when she visited that evening along with all the staff on the ward too as the news was communicated during staff change over. The next day my oncologist Dr Ram came to see me and apologised that I had been affected by the chemo so badly again and assured me that I would not be getting the last two doses of the chemical that causes all the problems as my body really couldn't deal with any more. He also told me that I needed to rest and eat plenty so that they could get me home.
I was hoping that I would be home during the weekend but the nurses made me see sense along with the physiotherapists that I really wasn't strong enough and Monday was there preferable option. So I accepted what they said - deep down I know they were right - just walking to the loo was like a marathon and after washing and dressing I would sleep for about an hour!
Dr Ram came to see me again on Monday 15th and said he was happy for me to go home later that day and Rachel my oncology nurse would be coming to see me to start to discuss surgery! Wow I wasn't expecting that! When Rachel came she explained that Dr Ram had confirmed there would be no more chemo as such before surgery but I would still have Herceptin which I know has to continue every three weeks for a year, and also an appointment had been made for me for Wednesday 17.05.17 to see the surgeon Miss Mortimer to try and book a slot for my surgery! As soon as she left I phoned Reno as I knew he would want to be there with me and he arranged to have the day off.
Wednesday 17.5.17 turned out to be a long day! Reno and I arrived to see the surgeon and after sometime of waiting were called into one of the smaller rooms by a nurse who explained that apparently today I was going to have my pre-operation assessment! A total surprise to me! The nurse suggested that as Miss Mortimer was still busy with a patient we do the assessment first and then come back - so off we went - they were happy with my blood which had been checked when I was discharged and so continued on to the ECG which was apparently fine then we went onto blood pressure - would you believe it - all the problems I had had over the past few weeks never once was my blood pressure a problem but today it was too high for their liking! Well we had been waiting around a while , I was getting hungry and the assessment had been sprung on me - so I was guessing that must be the cause. The nurse said it would need checking again but we could now go back to clinic to see the surgeon. Once Miss Mortimer arrived she discussed my options for surgery ( I don't want to go into too much detail yet as I am still making decisions - it's quite an emotional and personal thing to think about the options given and it takes time and discussion and looking ahead) and proceeded to say that they wanted to operate sooner rather than later as if there are any rogue cells they don't want them to have time to grow - so the plan is that I will have surgery around the middle of June - 6 weeks at least before I ever imagined it would be thought about! I have another appointment on Monday 22nd May to discuss things further with the surgeon and then hopefully a better idea on when it will all happen. We then had to go back to the pre op assessment unit to get my blood pressure re-checked but ....you guessed it..... still too high! It was suggested that we purchase a monitor and I take it regularly at home for a few weeks recording it each time because in a relaxed atmosphere it's probably fine - so that's exactly what we are doing! It will be checked again nearer the operation and hopefully all will be well! By the time we left the hospital it was 2.45p.m.! What a day!
So much to take on board but I am so excited to look forward to another very positive step on this journey - I have said it before - such a tough journey but with my family at my side with me all the way it's a journey that I am making great progress at and inspite of all the bad bits my mind is only focused on the good - and for that I am truly thankful and blessed.

Hi it's Sam!

Wednesday 10th May
Hi all you blog readers, this is Sam, Carols  daughter. Just to let you know that mum is once again in hospital, same reasons as before but she will update her blog as soon as she is home and well enough, hopefully in the not too distant future.

6th Treatment done! 3/4 the way there!

Thursday 04.05.2017 - So on Tuesday I had treatment number 6 and am now three quarters of the way through my chemotherapy - I left the hospital Tuesday fully equipped with all sorts of medication so that I am ready for any side effect that wants to be thrown at me! I will rattle well in a couple of weeks but who cares! I have antibiotics for oral thrush, cocaine mouthwash for if my mouth becomes sore as this allows me to continue to eat, steroids to hopefully lessen any side effects, more antibiotics to combat any other infection which may try to occur, cream to ease 'wind burn' on my face and five injections to go into my belly to boost my white blood cells!
So far not too bad, I have a bit of 'wind burn' and my mouth is a little sore but no infections raising their ugly heads! My hands are peeling just like a lizard losing its skin but that's not a problem - I have copious amounts of cream to apply as well as some cotton gloves to keep the cream on once smothered!
Generally since my last post on Friday 28th I am feeling quite well just extremely tired which is always to be expected. I am just listening to my body the whole time and if it says sleep I do just that - I know that sleep is all part of the process of healing. I am not too comfortable with the thought of doing my injections! So my sister, bless her, has come over Wednesday and today during her lunch break and done them for me! On Friday I am going to have a go with her watching me as she is going away for the weekend but if I am still not comfortable doing it I know that Reno has no qualms at all about doing the last two on Saturday and Sunday! I am managing to eat good (soft) meals and having plenty of fluids as instructed, with intermittent ice lollies to help try and keep my mouth cool! My temperature is behaving itself thank goodness and finding a pattern of taking it mid morning, mid afternoon and again at about 8pm works without me getting too paranoid taking it too often. Had a great nights sleep last night but the previous two were not so good but again I don't mind that as I appreciate how long I sleep during the day must have some impact. So all in all everything is jogging along nicely and fingers crossed it continues that way!
Before I finish for today I forgot to mention a couple of funny things that happened whilst I was in hospital which brightened up some quite serious days. The first was when I was given the first cocaine mouthwash I was still communicating by pen and paper to my sister and the doctor. As I was swirling this liquid around my mouth, bearing in mind I was also on diamorphine at the time, my sister asked me how the mouthwash was making my mouth feel. I wrote down 'Wonderful my mouth is going totally numb and so I can feel no pain! However, I am a little scared of all the little Goblins I can see running round the ward floor!' She looked really alarmed as did the doctor and said 'are you hallucinating?' at which I smiled the best way I could with my mouth still holding the cocaine and wrote down 'No, only joking'. Once I got rid of the mouthwash and could speak again we had quite a giggle about it!
The following day both my sisters visited together. My hands had turned quite a strange purple/red colour and I was sat up in bed with a cup of water lodged on my lap with one of my hands behind it. All of a sudden my sister grabbed my hand and said 'Your hands are going really strange - we need to get them looked at.' Needless to say the cup of water tipped over and I could feel it trickling down between my legs on to the bed just like I was wetting the bed!!! Well both my sisters and I giggled and giggled but then I said that one of them would have to come to the loo with me and help me change as now I had a drip in one arm and the diamorphine being fed into the other! So what happens? they decide to toss a coin to see who is going to help me in the loo department and who was going to make a cup of tea and ask a nurse to sort out the wet bed! My younger sister lost the toss so I guess you can guess which job she got!!! Anyway it all made for an amusing afternoon with us thinking that maybe they would be banned from visiting together in future!!!!
I am so glad that these amusing things happen - they all add a bit of brightness to some of the tougher days and being able to recount them makes me laugh which is a great medicine! One that doesn't make me rattle.
Feeling good today!

OMG What a couple of weeks!!!

Friday 28th April 2017
My apologies for not updating my blog sooner but the past two weeks have been very eventful! Here is the story:-
From Friday 14th April my mouth unfortunately just became more sore each day to the point where from Sunday 16th to Tuesday 18th it was as much as I could do just to take sips of water and even the water felt like it was burning my mouth. Talking was an issue too. Reno had to go back to work early on the Tuesday so my sister said she would call in before work to see how I was doing. On the Monday, Somersham ward had given us some medication to drop onto my tongue but even this caused a burning sensation too so, when my sister arrived she phoned Somersham ward to get some more advice. They said I needed to see my GP who would be able to prescribe something for me. We managed to get an appointment and subsequently a prescription and returned home to start the treatment. I really was in a lot of pain but did my best to do as the dr had said and try the medication. By Wednesday 19th there was no improvement at all I could still only just manage sips of water so my sister once again contacted the surgery so that we could get some advice over the phone. A GP called back and did another prescription which included some pain relief patches so that maybe I could try and get more inside me than just sips of water. However, nothing improved as the day went on and by teatime my temperature began to spike. It seemed to be up really high one minute and then normal again a few minutes later. By this time both my sisters and Samantha were getting concerned and wanted to ring the emergency number I have which I am supposed to ring should my temperature rise above 37.5 or I feel unwell. But, me being stubborn, kept insisting that I didn't actually feel unwell it was just that my mouth was so sore. By about 9.15p.m. my sister decided that whether I liked it or not she was ringing the emergency number. Thank goodness she did. My other sister arrived to look after Sam because we were told I had to go straight to hospital as quickly as possible. I now know that phone call could well have saved my life.
When we arrived at the hospital a cannula was put into my hand and antibiotics given as well as blood taken which was sent straight to the lab so that results could be seen as quickly as possible. Then the nurse proceeded to tell me that whenever my temperature spikes above 37.5 I must always ring even if I think its a waste of time I must still ring. She really wanted to make me understand that it could mean there is a problem with white blood cells which would then make someone Neutropenic and this is life threatening, so she told me about a young lady of 33 who phoned in to say that her temperature had gone up but because she felt well she wasn't coming into hospital she was just letting them know. Against the hospitals advice the young lady stayed at home and was found dead in bed the next day. She certainly made me understand and also quite frightened me but I now know why she did. We went to the day room to await the blood test results. After about an hour and fifteen minutes the nurse came through and said 'Carol I am really sorry I have the results but you are not going to like what you hear.' My heart was pounding. 'Your white blood cells are at 0.0 and your infection levels are at 235' she said 'The infection level is double what it should be and you have
Neutropenic Sepsis' my thoughts went back to the young lady she had told me about before. 'Am I going to be ok?' I asked panicing. 'Yes' she said 'because you are here and we are going to admit you and look after you.'
Over the next couple of days until Saturday I had to have fluids intravenously to rehydrate me, 8 Litres in total, and 2 units of blood to boost my own. My mouth continued to be sore until eventually after trying many different mouthwashes which all felt like they were burning me, I was actually communicating by pen and paper and the pain was getting unbearable. Also I still had not eaten and felt really quite weak. A doctor came to see me once again and suggested we try a cocaine mouthwash and a diamorphine syringe driver which is where diamorphine is automatically fed into your arm. So the syringe driver was set up in my arm and the cocaine mouthwash was brought to me.
I carefully parted my lips and poured the small amount of mouthwash in and was told to swill it around my mouth for as long as I could before spitting it out. This I did and once I had spat it out I said 'Thank you so much' My mouth was numb but I was able to speak, drink and put soft food in my mouth and swallow which was exactly what I needed to do to build myself up again and get better. I actually cried because I felt so relieved that for about 2 hrs that the effects of the cocaine lasted I was actually pain free. The nursing staff were pleased that they had found the combination that was going to work for me! So, the mouthwash came about 5 mins before each meal and at bedtime and whilst my mouth was numb I ate and drank as much as possible! I still couldn't chew but that didn't matter the main thing was that I could get nourishment and no longer needed to be drip fed fluids because I could drink plenty myself. From then on I was still given intravenous antibiotics but I really made good progress and was eventually discharged on Tuesday 25th April 7.45 p.m.
During the time I was in hospital I also had a change in my skin, my face looked and felt like it had wind burn and my hands went a very purple/red colour. Apparently another side effect from the chemo which eventually made my face peel and my hands (which are still peeling and I look a bit like a lizard shedding its skin!) I was given cream to apply which thankfully made the areas feel less warm!
All during the time I was in hospital my sisters once again were amazing even my nephew and his wife were helping with school runs for Sam and dropping her off at the hospital for visiting. My sisters shared looking after Sam and staying overnight and at the weekend Reno came home and took over from them. They are all so wonderful I cannot thank them enough. Reno arranged to come home on Wednesday evening 26.04.2017 and have the following two days at home so that he could come with me to my Oncology appointment on Thursday 27.4.17.
All I have done since coming home is rest and been waited on hand and foot!
We went to the oncologist yesterday who said he is very pleased with the way things are going but they are going to lower the dose of chemo I am due to have on May 2nd to try and reduce the side effects. He examined me and can no longer feel the tumour!!!! 'It's working' he said. Hoorah!!!!
He is arranging for me to have more scans and will see me again in four weeks (just after my 7th treatment of 8) when we will start to talk about surgery. He tells me that provided everything goes ok with my other treatments (and if they don't at least they know the combination of drugs I will need to treat me) then it should only take me 3-4 weeks recovery after my last treatment to be ready for surgery. That means that by the middle to end of July my chemo will be done with and so too will the surgery! When we left I was so chuffed that he couldn't feel my tumour that I had a real boost and thought even if I have to suffer with a sore mouth from now until surgery then I really can cope and I can get through it. I just have to make sure I eat well, drink plenty and rest even more. He also gave me a sick certificate for four months so I don't even have to think about work, I just have to concentrate on me and keeping as well as I can and that's exactly what I intend to do.
Today I have felt quite good in myself and think I look really well compared to a few days ago but still having to use the mouthwash to be able to eat. I am hoping that over the weekend this will improve greatly and my mouth will stop being sore ready for chemo on Tuesday. (The oncologist says the reason my mouth is so sore is not the thrush (that's all gone now) its because just like my face and hands my tongue has been stripped of a layer of skin underneath!)
Anyway, as you can see quite an eventful couple of weeks but I stay strong and expect the worst after treatment then when the worst doesn't happen I can look on it as a bonus!
Lets bring it on and get this cancer beat!