Treatment 5 of 8! Getting there!!

Tuesday 11th April - Didn't have too good a night last night  - woke several times and found it difficult to work out whether I was still on the boat or at home! Seriously it was a really weird feeling which I put down to the new steroids I started yesterday in preparation for the new course of chemo I start today. The new steroids should help with any side effects of the different drugs apparently. It was a long day today Reno and I arrived at the hospital at 9a.m. for my appointment but my drugs had not yet come up from pharmacy, by the time I had my cannula inserted and the anti sickness drug and saline it was 10.30 when we started with the hard core drugs the ones making me well again! These last four doses are all administered by drip so time seems to go a little slower and it was 3.10 p.m. by the time all the drugs had been fed in - however I felt absolutely fine - just tired which is the norm! Went home and rested for the rest of the evening.
Wednesday 12th April - Had a more restful night last night though I was awake for a two hour period between 2.30a.m. and 4.30a,m. as the nurse explained yesterday this is probably caused by the steroids so I am not too concerned as I can always nap during the day which I have done. I seem more tired than before with this treatment but apart from that so far so good!
Thursday 13th April - Went into work today after a better nights sleep. Have to admit I found it exhausting although Reno drove me there and picked me up again - it was impossible to catch up with much as there was so much to do from being on holiday but I have done what I can and have had a chat with my boss about getting some help in because I am not really sure how work is going to work out from now even two days a week may be too much when I appear to be needing so much more sleep and rest. Once home I rested up again and had a short sleep before my younger sister visited on her way home from work. It was nice of her to pop in and Reno was preparing dinner so she stayed too which kept me chatting about the holiday instead of falling asleep again which helped when it was bedtime! Today side effects are kicking in already - my mouth isn't sore but feels really strange and my taste is just awful - I am eating because I know I have to in order to build myself up again but it is so difficult to see a nice meal in front of you that you are looking forward to but then the first mouthful tastes rubbish and it's quite off putting. Trust me the blander the food is the better!!
Friday 14th April - Had a lay in today didn't wake until 6.00 a.m. and then dozed on and off until 8.45 a.m. Everything a bit of an effort and needed to rest after showering then dressing. Decided to go shopping with Reno but it all turned out to be a bit much and as soon as we returned I went to sleep whilst Reno and Sam did lunch. Taste and mouth are worse today plus I have niggling tummy ache (caused by constipation from the drugs - sorry but that's how it is!!) Eating and drinking just because I have to - seems like this is going to go on for some while! Just one good thing about it ........
Ice cream is not too bad at all!! So ice cream it is then breakfast, dinner and tea! My nails are starting to look a bit worse for wear so this evening I have paid them a bit of attention with nail cream and varnish which is recommended as the nails have a tendency to lift. Managed to iron a few items whilst sitting down this afternoon so am spending the evening in my favourite place ....... the conservatory where its bright and I can see the garden and nap whenever I feel like it!!!
All in all I have to say the symptoms are still not as bad as I had ever expected so I am very thankful and I have a lot to be grateful for - some people react more to the drugs but I feel fortunate with the little I have to put up with - it may seem like I grumble a lot but truly I shouldn't I really can cope with this and with only three treatments left I know I have the love and support all around me to get me through. I feel as strong as the day I was diagnosed and I intend to stay this strong until I am well and truly fit and healthy again!

What a wonderful holiday!!

Monday 10.04.2017 - Yesterday evening at approx. 9.30p.m. we arrived home after the most wonderful week on-board the our hired cruiser 'Radiant Emblem'. My sister and brother-in-law came with us and we have all returned home with a healthy glow! The beginning of the week was quite chilly but bright skies and the second half was bright sun shine, blue cloudless skies, Saturday and Sunday were both at times absolutely scorching! I have done so little all week being waited on hand and foot and I really didn't want to come home, I was so relaxed it was totally Wonderful - Brilliant - Amazing! Reno and Sam have been amazing making sure that our 'crew' , me and themselves all have had a Great Holiday.

This morning we were up fairly early to go for my blood test. Three attempts!! The first two on the inside of my elbow didn't want to let go of any blood - not even a droplet! - maybe it was something to do with the baileys I drank on holiday! (I wondered what that beige liquid was in the syringe LOL!!) - the nurse decided the back of my hand maybe a better option and she was right the blood flowed just as required! We have spent the rest of the day slowly unpacking and getting washing, shopping done etc. and wait for it..........booking next years cruise on the broads!

At approx. 5 p.m. the hospital rang which really put me on edge - but all was ok! I can have treatment tomorrow. Hooray, Yippee, Yeah!!!!!! My red blood cells are a bit low but as I feel so well my treatment can go ahead this time but once again the nurse told me that if my count goes any lower I will need a blood transfusion. Apparently Spinach, Watercress, Dried Apricots, and Dark Chocolate are all very good for me to help increase my iron (red blood cells) so guess what Reno has been and brought this evening!! He is a gem.

Now going to rest for the remainder of the evening so that I am all chilled out for treatment at 9 a.m. in the morning - I am a little apprehensive but Reno will be with me and Sam will be studying and waiting at home - so how can it not be ok with so much love around me, so many family and friends hold me in their thoughts everything is gonna be okay.

Lets get up to date!

Tuesday 28.03.2017 - from Thursday last week until yesterday it's been all rest! Reno and Sam have been great as usual doing everything for me and waiting on me hand and foot insisting that I do nothing! Saturday I still felt really tired and washed out but on Sunday I felt much more awake, however, that wasn't my cue to 'carry on as normal' I realise that I need to rest further to build myself up ready for my next chemo. Yesterday I went into work from 9.00 a.m. - 2.15 p.m. and have informed them that I will only be at work on a Monday and Thursday from now on to see how it goes and then cutting back still further later on if necessary. I was tired again after work but that's expected really so I rested completely once back home - including an early night.  Today I am at home and felt able to iron a few garments before spending the rest of the day (apart from the 6th form run!) with my feet up.
With regards to side affects, once again there are a few but nothing that is unbearable and as always I know that within about a week they will subside and I will be able to enjoy a restful holiday on the broads next week! My taste was not great at the weekend, not unbearable just distorted! A roast dinner looked so great on Mothers day but in reality it was a meal I knew I had to eat to build myself up (just like most meals at the moment!) Since Monday I have had a sore mouth and my throat feels like it is on fire! I am using the Difflam Mouth Wash which helps and enjoying Ice cream and mashed banana for breakfast! Bland foods are best really because they don't seem to leave a strange aftertaste for ages! Scrambled Egg is great and healthy too!
The strangest thing I have noticed is my sense of smell to some things is heightened and some smells seem to have got into my brain and I can't let them go! We have some automatic air fresheners at home which ordinarily I love - but at the moment they have all been switched off! I can smell them constantly and very strongly and they are awful! I can even taste them and during last night the smell was even strong in my pillows and bed linen to the point that this morning everything has been stripped from my bed and put into the washing machine - pillows and all!! When I last saw the oncologist he said that he had known some ladies to even throw away their favourite perfume! - hopefully my sense of smell will get back to normal so that I don't want to go to those extremes!
Tomorrow will be another restful day before work on Thursday!

Fourth Treatment - Halfway there - Hooray!!

The weekend was great! Lovely weather, the sun shone, we had a great time with friends and family and best of all I felt much better in myself though unusually tired. As a rule, just before my chemotherapy, I feel really well and full of beans!, however, this time the tiredness has been hanging around.
Monday 20th March - Dropped Sam at school and went to hospital for my routine blood test. Left with quite a sore arm as my vein just didn't want to part with any blood, but it gave in in the end!! Worked my normal day but as the day went on the flesh on the inside of my elbow joint felt quite tight and something below the skin was making it painful to try and fully straighten my arm. As it wasn't too big a problem to me managing day to day things I decided to speak with the hospital about it at my chemo appointment tomorrow.
Tuesday 21st March - Sam is coming to chemo with me today! My sister picked us up at 8.45a.m. and we made our way to the hospital and had the usual cuppa to settle a tiny bit of nerves! My appointment was at 10a.m. My nurse today was Mary - another chemotherapy angel! - we started with quite a long chat firstly about my arm and veins. I was relieved to hear Mary say that the problem with my arm not wanting to straighten is quite common and I need to keep it moving so that it doesn't cease completely. During my chemo Mary put a heated pad (at home I can use a hot water bottle or a warm towel) around my arm and after a while my movement was more free. The problem is caused by the veins constricting due to the chemicals I have and it can take months to get full movement back and it some cases it never returns so I now know how important it is to follow her advice and keep the heat treatment going 2-3 times a day. Once Mary started to administer the drugs she explained that she was using extra saline to try and help my veins, she also explained that when I start the next lot of four treatments in April I have the option of having a line put into my upper arm (this is done under ultra sound scan) which can be used instead of finding a good vein each time - however, Mary sees no problem with continuing using cannulas as she says my veins are relatively still in good condition compared to some patients. I think as long as I can I will persevere, as having a line in is a constant reminder and I am not sure I want that if we can avoid it.
Also had a bit of a wake up call today! Apparently my neutrophil count (determined in my blood test) was only just high enough for me to have my chemotherapy today (this explains why I have been so tired!) Mary tells me that I need much more rest and to make sure that I am drinking and eating plenty and has advised that I work less if I want to make sure that my treatments are not delayed by my count being too low! Everyone around me has been telling me the same thing about resting more but I have to admit when Mary said it, it really hit home and my count being low shocked me into really taking notice - no way do I want any treatments delayed!!!
Once chemo was finished Mary gave me the usual drugs and suggested starting the antibiotics two days early to give me a bit better chance of feeling well in time for our holiday 3rd April! Can't wait!!! Went home and put my feet up straight away! My sister stayed with Sam and I , cooked dinner and then spent the night here in case she was needed. I had an early night as I felt shattered!
Wednesday 22nd March - Managed to sleep through until 3.15a.m. then dozed through until 6.30a.m. Sam went off to school and my sister left for work at 9.50 a.m. knowing that Sam would be home again at 11.30a.m.
I am resting all day today with my feet up and just generally looking after myself creaming my nails (also important during treatment) and heat treating my arms! Also waiting for a call from my GP who is sorting a sick certificate for me to use as and when I am not at work as it looks like I will be cutting down from 4 days a week to a maximum of two days a week.
I really have had a wake up call from Mary yesterday and I will be taking more time to rest!

Ups and Downs

Friday 17th March - The past few days my emotions and how I feel in myself have been all over the place. Sometimes I have felt really good but others I have felt quite down and somewhat tearful. I can't really explain why but silly little things have upset me and if I am honest I have probably been a bit paranoid thinking that people keep staring at me! I think maybe I need to just pull myself together and get over myself! It has been quite a busy week and it's possible tiredness may be playing a big part as well as my arms, especially my right arm, which are quite painful still. I have come to the conclusion that its maybe not so much the muscles as the veins, I think they have reacted to the chemo and have formed a kind of scar tissue so that when I try and stretch my arm it feels like there is no give in them and it feels like if I keep stretching the part of my arm that hurts will snap! Hopefully I may get some answers as to whether this is the case when I go for my next chemo on Tuesday.
Anyway, as I said it has been a busy week - I have been to work everyday although I did leave off an hour and a half early on Thursday just because I felt really tired. On Tuesday evening there was a Spring Concert at Northgate and Sam was singing in the choir - I really could not miss that, Reno was disappointed he could not be there - so after dinner we set off to arrive there at 6.30 p.m. for a 7 o'clock start. It was brilliant and, along with mum who came too, really enjoyed the evening. We arrived home at 9.20 p.m. (probably the start of my down fall this week as I am usually in bed by then!) shattered but thankful that I managed to go - I even managed to record Sam's choir on my phone so Reno would be able to listen when he was home. After a good nights sleep I was ready for work on Wednesday and - I thought - a meeting being held at the school to inform parents all about what was required for applying to universities, applying for student loans, booking to view universities etc. etc.! I had already arranged for my sister to come with me to the meeting - I thought her brain would be more alert than mine, and I was right!- so we set off at 6.30p.m. for a 7 o'clock start. I took a note pad (knowing what my memory is like!) and although we were told that all the information would be on the school web site I thought it would be a good idea to note down key points! About fifteen minutes into the meeting I felt like all that was being said was going straight over the top of my head. I looked around me and everyone else seemed so attentive - I felt like a bad mother! - once again I tried to concentrate but it just wasn't happening! I looked at my sister as I started to note down something that was important and she just said "don't worry I have got it" and there she was making all the notes I could possibly need! I have said before that both my sisters are angels and I want to say it again - they really are ANGELS!. The meeting finished at about 8.15 p.m. but it felt much later! Once again I arrived home shattered, however, another good nights sleep followed! On Thursday I struggled a bit to keep focused at work so I made the decision to leave off early and go home to relax! Sam was spending the day in the public gallery at Crown Court so she didn't need to be picked up 'til about 4 p.m.
I got home put my feet up and decided to make some progress on my fruit bowl - I mean pretty hat!!!! So I beavered away with the TV on in the background until I was almost at the point of putting on the brim again - I felt really chuffed I had achieved so much in a relatively short space of time but then I tried it on...............OMG it was still not right........I think that the fact I have no hair is what's the problem !! but I thought I had made the correct adjustments after making the first one!! obviously not........I took a picture of it (just to prove I had almost finished it again you understand!!!) and promptly pulled it all out! Time to get Sam me thinks!!!!!! Once home again I made a start on hat number three (or fruit bowl - whichever the case may be) I will not give up! I swear I will have this hat done and looking pretty on my head, no..... perhaps not by Saturday.......but ready for our holiday Monday 3rd April!!!! Reno was home tonight, straight away he sensed I am not myself but didn't push for reasons - he knew I just needed his hugs. Sam and Reno are great at knowing just when I need someone to simply hold me tight.
Today I am spending some time with my mum but not so sure if I am going to be good company  this morning tears fall when I least expect them and I have no real explanation. However I have tried my best to be cheerful whilst doing a bit of shopping and I keep looking forward to spending the weekend with Reno and Sam friends and family! On Saturday we are going to spend some time with our friends who will be cooking dinner for us and on Sunday we are going to Halesworth for 12 noon to spend some time with Reno's brother and sister in law who will also be cooking for us! What would we do without the weekends!!!

Hat or Fruit Bowl?!?!

Monday 13th March 2017 - The past few days (Thursday - today) have had some trying times, satisfying times along with some laughs too!!
From Wednesday to Saturday my mouth has been more sore as time went on until I felt like I was living on ice-cream and stewed apple!! No complaints - ice cream for breakfast was quite a luxury I felt! I managed to get some advice from a chemist who recommended Difflam Sore Throat Rinse, saying that it would help if I rinsed my mouth with it - and , to a point it did, as after each rinse it stopped the painfulness for about half an hour before it crept back again. However I continued with it every couple of hours, right through until Sunday when , thankfully, I woke up with my mouth feeling much better - I could even stick my tongue out! (something I hadn't been able to do for a few days as it was so sore.) I guess really some things just have to take their course and you just have to bear with it! Anyway, lets get all the low points out of the way ! My right arm is really still quite painful and I cannot reach round the back of me at all with that arm, the left isn't quite so bad but lets just say I know my limits with both!! I was hoping that they would be feeling much better by now but as yet its not to be!
Friday I had a day to myself (useful because I didn't really want to talk as moving my tongue around hurt!). This may seem strange but I did quite a lot of housework and thoroughly enjoyed it - yes I know I have turned quite mad! It's so long since I felt like making the effort and Reno and Sam bless them, have been keeping on top of things for me. I felt satisfied that the house looked clean and tidy due to the effort I had put in rather than having to rely on someone else and yes I will say it again - It was really satisfying! I still managed to sit down for an hour and a half before I collected Sam so I picked up my crocheting to see if I could make some more progress on the 'pretty' hat with a brim that I was making! Once Sam was home she took one look at it and laughing,said it looked like a fruit bowl! I wasn't going to be discouraged and continued to crochet creating the brim and eventually finishing it. It looked huge! I put it on and Sam laughed and laughed "Mum - Its too big" she giggled. I went to look in the mirror and I was giggling too - it really was comical, if I didn't have a head that acted like Velcro you could have spun the hat round by the brim and I am sure it would have turned several times. I decided that it would have to be pulled out and started again with a few adjustments, but before that I decided to take a selfie so that Reno could see the proof that I had actually finished it (you see - I started a babies shawl nearly 30 years ago and its still on-going!) I struck a pose and eventually took the picture on my phone only to discover whilst looking at it that what I had actually taken was a video clip that was still running - needless to say Sam just fell about laughing - and so did I - chemo brain or what!!!
The weekend was lovely weather and by Sunday I was feeling really good - not too tired and more like my usual self. All ready for work on Monday.
Nothing different at work today - I am feeling pretty good and looking forward to a restful evening - and starting the fruit bowl - I mean - hat all over again - I am determined to finish it by the weekend!

The Past few days

Saturday 4th March - Woke feeling really tired today, so I knew that I was going to have to pace myself a little! Went shopping during the morning but when I returned home was more tired than I could have imagined! Had lunch and spent the rest of the day resting and sleeping on and off in bed! I felt really lazy but had to acknowledge that I actually felt better for giving in and resting! Enjoyed a relaxing bath before dinner and then put my feet up in front of the TV for the rest of the evening with Reno and Sam!

Sunday 5th March - Decided to go to church this morning and my sister kindly offered to come with me so that I didn't have to drive and Reno could take Sam for some practise driving before her next lesson tomorrow! The church was packed as there was a christening and I was a little overwhelmed and emotional as several people came over to see me - also I was still feeling really tired and today my muscles in my arms have started to ache which I think impacted on how emotional I felt. I enjoyed the service and returned home for lunch and to prepare dinner so that we could all relax and watch a film together before my mother arrived for dinner. Reno had to go to Felixstowe ready for an early start on Monday so Sam and I had an early night!

Monday 6th March - Felt quite exhausted after my shower today, just as if I had done a days work already! (Poor old lady!!!) and my shoulders, elbows and muscles in my arms are really quite painful. I know this is a symptom of the chemo so I try to ignore it as much as possible although the pain in my right arm makes it difficult! Went to work as planned which helps as it takes my mind off exactly how I am feeling. Made the effort and visited some friends after work before returning home for a relaxing evening not doing anything much except a jigsaw puzzle with Sam!

Tuesday 7th March - Not a very good night last night - unfortunately the pain in my arm joints and muscles is almost unbearable especially in certain positions (trying to wash behind me, if you know what I mean, is so painful it brings tears to my eyes) but I am thankful that at least the pain hasn't spread to my legs (which it did after the second dose of chemo) and I know that after 4 or 5 days it will ease and disappear altogether. I decide to keep thinking positive and go into work as planned. By 9.30 a.m. however, I rang the surgery to get a telephone appointment with the doctor to ask if they could suggest what I should do to try and ease the pain - every movement of my arms was causing me such pain that even work was no longer a distraction, the surgery told me a doctor would ring me back at some point during the day - I decided to carry on at work at least until I heard from them. The doctor rang at 2.30 p.m. and told me what pain relief and anti inflammatory tablets to take to help me and said that if there was no improvement in 24 hours I was to ring her back. After collecting Sam from school I took some tablets as recommended by the doctor and then climbed into a hot bath which proved to be most helpful too - the warmth around my muscles and joints made such a difference and by the time I got out of the bath I felt more like my old (young!) self again - I even managed to prepare and cook dinner for Sam and Reno! - It's rare for Reno to be home during the week but his lorry was in for a service - when I think about it God works in mysterious ways - of all the nights I felt like I needed Reno at home , it was tonight! Went to bed feeling better that the tablets were working and the pain was now not nearly so bad. Lets hope tomorrow brings a better day!

Wednesday 8th March - Had a fairly good night! However I have decided that I am not going to work today - instead I am going to have a more restful day so that hopefully I can return to work on Thursday. The tablets are keeping my pain at bay, which is good, and hopefully after a couple of days I will no longer need to take the pain relief. Thankfully the pain has not spread to any other joints, however..........wait for it........today my mouth is a bit sore! I am not shocked by it or alarmed as it is another symptom!! I can still eat, drink and talk (thank goodness!!!!) I just find it less sore if I try and keep my tongue as still as possible!! The side of my tongue is quite red and there is a blister which feels just like a bead behind my back tooth! Just as well I am staying at home today -  only poor Sam who has a short school day today has to listen to me having a tiny grumble!!! It works well really - on a short day Sam spends a lot of time in her room studying - she's more than happy to escape to her room to study if I am having a little grumble!!!! Seriously though Sam doesn't complain - she's a gem!